As advancements in surrogacy technology improve, the practice remains relatively rare, leading to a lot of misunderstanding about the process. Having been a gestational surrogate myself (affectionately known as a “belly buddy”) for nine months, I experienced the joy of bringing a surrogate baby (often referred to as a “surrobabe”) into the world for dear friends. Throughout this journey, I encountered numerous questions from friends, family, and even acquaintances. However, three particular inquiries frequently arose.
1. Why Did You Choose to Be a Surrogate?
I chose this path out of love. Imagine those quiet moments at night when your children are peacefully asleep, and you sneak in for one last kiss, feeling an overwhelming surge of affection that could almost make your heart burst. That’s the feeling that motivated me to assist another couple in experiencing that joy. With a supportive family, a healthy body, and a functioning uterus, I decided to help my friends, who are both men and needed a little help from medical science and two selfless women—a donor for the eggs and a belly buddy like myself.
2. How Does the Surrogacy Process Work?
When my family made the decision to pursue surrogacy, we quickly realized that we needed professional guidance due to the complexities involved. We partnered with an agency that helped us navigate the necessary steps and manage the overwhelming paperwork. After matching with a couple registered with the same agency, I underwent a process akin to in vitro fertilization (IVF), though without egg retrieval, as I opted out of traditional surrogacy using my own eggs.
Initially, my body was manipulated to simulate menopause, preventing my eggs and natural cycle from interfering. Subsequently, I was treated as if I were already three days pregnant to facilitate the transfer of a frozen embryo. Following the embryo transfer, I continued with medication and injections until my body stabilized hormonally to sustain the pregnancy.
The experience itself mirrored my previous pregnancies, but with heightened sensations—more anxiety, morning sickness, ultrasounds, cravings, and even more weight gain. As this was my third pregnancy and considering I was no longer in my twenties, it was understandable that things felt different. I received prenatal care from local providers, and the delivery took place at a nearby hospital. My husband, my doula, and one of the dads were there, while the other rushed to join us, as the baby decided to arrive early. After a brief hospital stay, the joyful dads took their new baby home, filled with love and excitement.
3. Would You Consider Surrogacy Again?
Absolutely! If I had the chance to relive it all, knowing what I do now, I would do it without hesitation. The experience was profound and surreal, and while it was at times overwhelming, I believe it made me a better person. The world is undoubtedly brighter with one more loving family. However, if someone asked me to be a surrogate again right now, I might just feel a wave of nausea!
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In summary, surrogacy is a rewarding yet complex journey filled with love and challenges. It offers an opportunity to help others create their families while also navigating the highs and lows of pregnancy.
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