I believe most mothers carry a hint of hypochondria within them. It’s woven into the fabric of motherhood. When our children fall ill, we instinctively feel the need to monitor them closely and act swiftly if things take a turn for the worse. A certain level of anxiety is only natural; seeing our little ones unwell is never easy, and our protective instincts kick in.
However, for some of us, those instincts can become overwhelming. The desire to shield our children from harm can morph into paralyzing anxiety. I never identified as a hypochondriac until I became a mother. I’ve struggled with anxiety for years, and one of its manifestations is a constant fear of losing my loved ones. When you have children, it’s easy to worry that the various bugs they bring home from school could lead to a trip to the ER or, in a worst-case scenario, something far more tragic.
There are days when I remain quite calm when one of my kids is sick, and as they’ve grown older and illnesses have become less frequent, I’ve managed to relax a bit. Yet, there are still moments when my anxiety about their health flares up. I find myself caught in a cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors regarding their well-being.
I know I’m not alone in this. Many mothers and fathers experience similar feelings, even if they don’t speak about them. So, I want to share some of my “quirky” thoughts and actions regarding my children’s health, hoping it might resonate with others like me.
Whenever one of my kids mentions that another child was sent home sick, I immediately interrogate them for specifics. If my son, Jake, tells me that Sarah threw up at school, I casually but insistently ask questions: “How close were you to her?” “What symptoms did she have?” Then I spend the next 48 hours anxiously waiting for Jake to show any signs of that illness.
When I see a Facebook post about a sick child, I note their location and wonder how soon that illness will spread to my household. Even if the poster lives far away, I can’t shake the thought that the illness could eventually reach us. I often scroll through their profile to pinpoint their location and mentally calculate the probability of the virus making its way to us.
If I learn about norovirus or another serious illness affecting someone, I’ll avoid visiting them for weeks. Those of us with hypochondria are well aware that norovirus can linger on surfaces for up to two weeks, and even after recovery, it can still infect others. So, if I hear that norovirus has affected a family, I know it’s best to stay away for a while.
Whenever my child develops a fever, my mind races to the worst possible scenarios. I know that fevers can be harmless, yet my anxiety leads me to assume the worst—a serious illness might be lurking. The same goes for symptoms like stomachaches or rashes; my thoughts spiral into worry.
During cold and flu season, I find myself panicking over the smallest signs. If my child barely eats their dinner, I start preparing for the worst. If they seem tired despite a full night’s sleep, I brace myself for the flu. While I realize that many parents experience similar worries, I tend to take it to another level.
If I seem overly concerned or irrational, it’s because I am. My rational side knows that these thoughts don’t make sense. Ironically, I have more knowledge about health and child care than the average parent. Yet, when anxiety strikes, my rationality vanishes, leaving me in a state of fear and irrationality.
Fortunately, I’ve been working on these issues in therapy. I’m learning to recognize when my anxiety is creeping in and have developed strategies to mitigate panic attacks. It’s been refreshing to experience a level-headed response to my children’s illnesses. It’s genuinely a relief.
If you find that your own worries are hindering your ability to parent calmly, or if you think your anxiety might be affecting your children, it’s important to seek help. There are resources available, and you don’t have to navigate this alone. For more information on this topic, you can visit Make A Mom, which offers insights into managing anxiety. Additionally, the CDC provides excellent resources for understanding health and wellness.
Summary:
Navigating motherhood can be challenging, especially for those who struggle with anxiety and hypochondria. While it’s normal to worry about our children’s health, it’s important to find balance and seek help when needed. Through therapy and self-awareness, there is hope for a more relaxed approach to parenting during times of illness.
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