Oh, wonderful! Another invitation to a “Girls Night Out!” Come explore our latest beauty offerings! Hair treatments! Nail wraps! Body wraps! Foot wraps! Candles! Oils! Eco-friendly cleaners! Chic Bohemian-inspired decor! AAAAAAH. In moments like this, all I want is to retreat under a blanket with a good book. Honestly, all these girly products leave me feeling completely overwhelmed.
At 37 years old, I walk into these gatherings and introduce myself: “Hi, I’m Lisa. I don’t wear makeup. I’ve never set foot in a Sephora. I don’t dye my hair. Shoe shopping isn’t my thing. And I recently had to look up ‘Joanna Gaines’ just to keep up with conversations during school drop-off. Want to be friends?” It’s a bit awkward, to say the least.
How did I end up here? I consider myself somewhat feminine; I enjoy pink and sparkles. However, I often find my pink sparkles in the clearance section at Old Navy. Perhaps I’m just annoyingly practical—and a bit lazy. Every purchase requires a mental debate. Will I really wear this shirt with multiple pairs of pants? Trying new products sounds like a lot of effort. When someone mentions needing 30 days to see results from a product, I think, are you kidding? That feels like an eternity. So, I’ll stick to my Target brand knock-off of Aveeno, thank you very much.
As time passes, the crow’s feet around my eyes grow, and gray hairs appear sporadically—though I like to pretend it’s just the lighting. Meanwhile, other moms discuss Botox, and I’m over here thinking, ummm, I might’ve worn mascara once last week.
Before we know it, May will arrive, and we’ll finally swap our boots for flip-flops. Other moms will complain about needing pedicures. I get pedicures too, but mine look more like “painting my toenails in the bathroom” on Saturday nights. There’s no sweet lady giving me a foot massage—just me and some Wet ‘n Wild hot pink polish I borrowed from my daughter. Sure, I’ve had pedicures, but only at those “bring your own wine” events—now that’s what I’m into!
When I receive these invitations, I envision someone trying to sell me an $85 foot cream. No thanks. My calloused heels will have to manage without your fancy coconut butter eucalyptus foot rub, which ranks about #456 on my list of things I’d spend that much money on.
And then there are those body wraps. A friend of mine sells them, and because I adore her, I thought, why not? Let’s support her business and give it a shot. She assured me that wearing it for 45 minutes would tighten my tummy skin and disguise the fact that I’ve carried three 9-pound babies. Miracle? I was skeptical but willing to try. Well, I lasted 42 minutes before tearing that thing off and tossing it in the trash. It was an itchy eternity, and it didn’t erase the memories of my giant babies (Doritos on the couch had nothing to do with it, I swear).
Fancy accessories completely baffle me. My mother-in-law often gifts me a new purse from the outlet store, which I use until it’s seen better days, often touching the floors of public restrooms far too many times. A friend once showed me her new purse, and when she revealed the price, my heart raced. I felt like I might spill wine on it just by being in the same room!
As my late-30s self deals with the confusion of beauty products, my home isn’t faring much better. We recently moved, so I thought, this is my chance! After years of visiting friends’ homes decked out with trendy decor while I clung to garage sale finds from 2002, it was time for a change. But wandering through HomeGoods left me mumbling incoherently like a lost cat lady. I learned terms like “texture” and “pop of color,” but after spending a fortune on decor meant to look “vintage,” only one room in my house finally resembles that of an adult. Yay, I guess?
Perhaps this is progress as I inch closer to adulthood. My practical side has ruled my choices for so long. Three kids in five years made cute wedge sandals impractical. Flip-flops were my go-to. Pregnancy and nursing led to sensible tops that concealed my sensible bras. The life of a stay-at-home mom meant sweats and a top knot—not because it was trendy, but because I had a lot of unwashed hair.
But now, as I approach 38, my children are growing up. I no longer have babies or toddlers climbing on me, needing me to wipe them, or spilling juice everywhere. So maybe it’s time I grow up too? Perhaps I’ll explore what shiplap actually is and decide if I want it in my home. Or maybe I’ll expand my makeup collection beyond the Revlon eyeliner and mascara I bought with a CVS coupon.
For now, I’m going to sip my hot coffee and put my feet up on my ottoman (yes, I have an ottoman!) while wearing the slippers my kids gave me for Mother’s Day in 2011. One step at a time, folks.
Conclusion
In conclusion, navigating the world of beauty and fashion can be daunting, but embracing your own style and preferences is what truly matters. If you’re exploring home insemination, check out this home insemination kit for more tips. Additionally, for more information on the topic, you can visit Cryobaby’s home intracervical insemination syringe kit, a great authority on the subject. For further assistance, this resource provides excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
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