When it comes to family dinners, we don’t always manage to gather around the table, but on the nights we do, my partner and I make it a point to ask our three children about their day. Typically, we pose the familiar question, “How was your day?” and, predictably, our two older kids (ages 10 and 8) respond with indifference, while our 3-year-old simply stares blankly. They often eye the dinner we’ve prepared with disdain, instead requesting Mac and Cheese.
This is a common scenario, and while I maintain a good relationship with my children, getting them to engage in meaningful conversation during dinner has proven to be a challenge. It often leaves me wondering if there’s a better way to connect.
Recently, I stumbled upon the story of two brothers, Mike and Jake, who co-founded a successful T-shirt company, Life is Amazing. Their upbringing was deeply impacted by a serious car accident their parents experienced during their childhood. While their mother sustained only minor injuries, their father faced significant challenges, losing the use of his right hand. This shift altered their family dynamic; their father became more reactive, while their mother sought to foster a positive atmosphere.
Every evening, their mother, Lisa, would ask her six children a straightforward yet powerful question: “What was something good that happened today?” This simple inquiry transformed their dinner discussions, steering them away from a victim mentality. Instead of lamenting about their day, they shared laughs over amusing haircuts or exciting school projects.
Reading about their experiences made me realize how different it is from the non-committal shrugs I usually get at our table. The question “What good thing happened today?” feels so easy yet impactful, and I can’t help but wonder if it might work wonders in my own home.
Mike and Jake attribute their mother’s nightly question to the foundation of their successful business. It taught them that optimism is a choice, a critical lesson that became the core philosophy of their brand, which champions the message: “Life isn’t perfect. Life isn’t easy. Life is amazing.”
I understand that some may find this perspective challenging, particularly those who grapple with mental health struggles. I empathize, as I have faced my own battles with anxiety and depression. The idea of simply ‘being positive’ can sometimes feel impossible. However, I also believe that this minor shift in conversation could have a lasting impact on my children, potentially equipping them with tools to manage life’s challenges, especially if they encounter similar struggles in the future.
So tonight, when I sit down with my three kids, who usually shrug off my inquiries, I plan to ask them to share something good that happened during their day. I’ll share a positive moment from my own day too, hoping that this new approach might inspire a change in their outlook on life, even if it’s just a small one.
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Summary:
Asking your children what good thing happened during their day can foster a positive mindset and encourage open communication. Inspired by a mother’s impactful question, this simple approach could help shift your family’s dinner conversations from indifference to joy.
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