Navigating the world of social media can be a double-edged sword. I appreciate the chance to connect in our cozy online community, sharing our experiences and challenges. But it also serves as a stark reminder of how isolated my son, Alex, can feel both in real life and on social platforms. I often find myself scrolling through Facebook while on the elliptical—an activity so dull I can’t help but check for updates.
I understand that sometimes Alex chooses solitude, as being alone can feel easier. Yet, I also think that many teens struggle with knowing how to interact with someone who is “different.” Instead of risking a misstep, they often choose not to engage at all.
Most of Alex’s classmates are genuinely kind and caring, but they often don’t know what to do after the initial greeting. I don’t blame them; however, I believe education plays a key role in helping them understand that trying to connect is what matters most.
To the teens out there who wish to befriend Alex or another teen with autism, here are 14 important words to guide you:
- Ask.
Initiate conversations. Ask if he wants to grab a snack or see a movie. Inquiry is the first step to understanding. - Accept.
Embrace him as he is. Some of his behaviors may seem odd to you, but they make sense to him. Acceptance is crucial. - Consider.
Think of him when planning activities. Even if he often opts for solitude, the simple act of including him matters—a lot. - Educate.
Learn about autism, but also about Alex specifically. Understand his preferences and routines to better connect with him. - Forgive.
Like anyone, he may say things that come off as blunt. His honesty is not meant to hurt; it’s just how he communicates. - Ask (again).
Even if he has declined your invites in the past, don’t hesitate to ask again. You never know when he might be ready to say yes. - Space.
If he agrees to hang out, he may need some downtime afterward. Respect his need for space to recharge. - Time.
Building trust takes time. Be patient; your effort will be worthwhile. - Remind.
He might need gentle reminders about plans or events. If he forgets, it’s not a reflection of your friendship. - Scripting.
He enjoys sharing quotes from memes or films. Engage with him on this level to foster connection. - Literal.
Alex interprets language very literally. If he seems confused by slang or sarcasm, try rephrasing your question. - Individual.
Remember, he is Alex first and foremost, not just a label. - Respect.
Even if you don’t fully understand him, respect his individuality. He’s likely trying to understand you too. - Kindness.
At the end of the day, kindness goes a long way. Just being there for him is what truly counts.
And here’s a final thought: simply attempting to be his friend, even with missteps, is always a step in the right direction.
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In summary, building a friendship with someone like Alex requires patience, understanding, and kindness. Taking the time to learn and engage will create a meaningful connection.
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