Every parent has their limits. It’s a universal truth that our days are often punctuated by the various “phases” our children go through. From Sleep Issues to Neediness, these episodes can be quite challenging. Currently, my home is experiencing what I like to call the Angsty Phase, where my oldest tween has morphed into a grumpy, eye-rolling creature the moment she wakes up.
I wish I could say I handle her sassy remarks and dramatic huffs with a serene demeanor. In reality, if a grown-up spoke to me in such a manner, I’d be taken aback (unless they had just tasted expired milk). While she’s a model student and friend outside our home, the situation at home can be quite different. Initially, I found myself attributing her behavior to various excuses:
- Lack of sleep
- Stress from school
- Hunger
However, I soon realized that she gets plenty of rest, enjoys school, and isn’t starving.
After one particularly snappy morning, I jokingly told her I would be counting the number of times she rolled her eyes and made snide remarks, and each tally would cost her a dollar. Fortunately, she doesn’t want to part with her money, so it worked that day.
Coming up with effective disciplinary actions on the spot is tough, especially ones that don’t disrupt my life or affect another parent (like canceling a playdate). But I recognize my authority as a parent.
So, why has my sweet child transformed into a resident of Planet Attitude? It’s a mix of hormones and a newfound desire for independence. In these moments, she needs space to process her feelings, which can be hard for me since I’ve always been the one to offer comfort. However, I’ve come to realize we need a different tactic.
1. Embrace Silence
As someone who loves to talk, I struggled with this step. Instead of engaging in back-and-forth conversations, I’ve started to keep my mouth shut. The other day, while doing dishes, I put on headphones to avoid the urge to converse. With less chatter, emotions remain in check, allowing for reflection.
2. Create Distance
When tensions rise, it’s essential to give each other space. I often suggest she take a break in her room or go for a walk. If she refuses to move, I’ll step away myself. Just a brief separation can help defuse the situation.
3. Practice Patience
Our kids are still in there, even if they seem prickly. Giving them space without pushing them to talk will often lead them to come around. I’ve noticed that after a little time apart, they often express regret, and it’s clear they realize their behavior was out of line.
4. Discuss Later
Once the storm has passed and everyone’s in a better headspace, it’s time to talk. I like to start with light questions, and once I see she’s receptive, I express my feelings about her behavior. Using the word “disappointed” has proven effective in communicating how her actions affect me. Typically, this leads to a heartfelt apology and a restored connection for the rest of the day.
Adopting this new approach has significantly improved our interactions. After a recent outburst, we maintained our composure and chose not to react to her attitude. As she left for school, I caught a glimpse of the little girl she used to be in the way she turned back to wave. It’s just a phase, I remind myself, and that’s the truth.
If you’re facing similar challenges with your tween, I encourage you to try these strategies. For more insights on family planning and fertility, check out Make a Mom’s at-home intracervical insemination syringe kit. They offer great resources, such as the BabyMaker at-home insemination kit as well. For more comprehensive information on donor insemination, visit American Pregnancy.
Summary:
Navigating the angsty tween phase can be challenging, but with strategies like embracing silence, creating distance, practicing patience, and discussing issues later, parents can foster healthier communication with their children.
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