I won’t lie, I used to look down on women who breastfed their toddlers. I had no idea that a baby technically becomes a toddler at the age of one. I thought breastfeeding was for infants, not for kids who could walk or even talk. Then I entered motherhood and experienced a complete change of heart.
Before my child arrived, I held a very different viewpoint on many aspects of parenting. It’s impossible to grasp the immense responsibility that comes with raising a child—alongside the fears and anxieties—until you’re in the thick of it. I realize now that I had no right to judge other mothers.
This tiny human demands your undivided attention, and they don’t care if it’s the middle of the night—they need to eat or be held, and they need it immediately. And honestly, how can you blame them? They are pure, innocent beings who rely on you for their very survival. When you’re the one nursing, all of that responsibility rests on your shoulders. Sure, I occasionally pumped milk so my partner could give our baby a bottle, but that process takes time too.
The anxiety that comes with bringing home this little life is overwhelming. Knowing that their health and well-being depend entirely on you (and perhaps your partner or family) is a heavy burden. As they grow, new worries emerge. Nevertheless, breastfeeding provides a means of protecting your child, passing on valuable antibodies, and ensuring they receive balanced nutrition. Research from the Mayo Clinic suggests that extended breastfeeding (nursing past the one-year mark) can lower the risks of breast cancer, ovarian cancer, heart disease, and various other health issues. With so many uncontrollable factors in life, why wouldn’t a mother want to breastfeed for as long as possible?
During my pregnancy, I was determined to exclusively breastfeed. I genuinely believe that “fed is best,” but if a mother can breastfeed (not everyone can), it’s beneficial for the child’s health and immune system. Initially, my breastfeeding journey was smooth, but that soon changed.
The challenges I faced, combined with my anxiety, made the experience incredibly tough. I found myself harshly critiquing my abilities and worrying that my son, Liam, wasn’t nursing enough. I was convinced it was my fault, and that his health was at stake. But that’s just part of the journey—it’s hard for both mother and child as they adapt to this new experience.
Despite being aware that there’s nothing wrong with formula feeding (I had a mix of both as a baby and turned out fine), I fixated on breastfeeding as the only option. Much of this stems from societal pressures and the unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves to be the “perfect mom.” We often prioritize our children at the expense of our own well-being, and I’m definitely guilty of that. It’s crucial to remember that taking care of ourselves is sometimes what’s best for our children.
Fast forward to now, my dedication to exclusively breastfeeding has paid off. Liam is almost 13 months old, and we’re still going strong with our 2-3 nursing sessions daily. I can’t imagine stopping anytime soon, although I plan to wean him before welcoming another baby.
So here I am, that mom with a toddler who walks and talks, yet still nurses. He shows no interest in stopping, and frankly, I don’t either.
So I ask you, are you really in a position to judge another mother’s choices, particularly regarding her and her child’s bodies?
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In summary, my perceptions have drastically shifted since becoming a mother. The pressures we face as parents can be overwhelming, but it’s essential to focus on what truly matters—our children’s health and our own well-being.
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