I resonate with the bumper sticker that declares, “Kids are meant to be human too.” As a mother of two spirited, vibrant daughters, I take pride in their accomplishments and the various milestones they’ve reached. While they are generally well-behaved, they can also exhibit less-than-ideal behavior at times, whether at home, school, or beyond.
In today’s social media era, it often seems like every child is the epitome of perfection. Instagram and Facebook are flooded with images of kids winning awards, excelling in sports, and being adorable little angels. I admit that I contribute to this trend, sharing those picture-perfect moments of my girls regularly—who wouldn’t want to showcase their kids’ brightest moments?
Yet the truth remains: no child is flawless—not mine, not yours, and certainly not that neighbor’s kid who always appears to be cheerful and polite. This reality can be difficult for some parents to accept, especially when it comes to their own children’s occasional misbehavior. We often seek explanations for their actions, attributing them to factors like lack of sleep, social dynamics, or even a poor diet on a given day.
Ultimately, our children are not perfect; they are simply little humans. Adults, too, can act less than ideally at times—yes, even I (but let’s keep that between us). We don’t always make the best choices or exhibit our best selves. Stress, anxiety, and fatigue can impact our behavior, and children experience their own versions of these challenges. They may not have the same structured routine we do, yet they still grapple with their own issues that affect their behavior.
I once struggled with the idea of raising “good” kids, especially when my daughters started school. I worried about how their actions would be perceived by others, especially regarding parent shaming—an issue in itself. As a work-at-home mom, I had the ability to guide their behavior closely. But once they entered school, I lost that constant oversight and could only hope they made wise choices: to stand up for others, to be kind, and to do what is right.
The reality? My kids do their best to be kind and supportive. They help their classmates, comfort friends, and cheer each other on. However, they also make mistakes. Sometimes they don’t respond to unkindness as they should, and at times, they need reminders to be responsible, like cleaning up after themselves. They’ve even witnessed moments of unkindness but have struggled to know how to react.
At just 6 and 9 years old, they are still learning about social dynamics and navigating new experiences. I would often feel frustrated when they didn’t make the best choices. Dinner conversations have shifted from lighthearted school stories to discussions about bullying and mean behavior, a reality I never anticipated.
Despite my instincts to intervene, I realized that even children, as cute and innocent as they may seem, are still human. How can they know the right way to respond to situations they’ve never faced before? We can read all the books about kindness and good choices, but real-life scenarios are different. I’ve experienced moments of pride and moments of cringe when hearing about their decisions.
This realization hit me hard. At 41, I’m far from perfect; I make mistakes regularly. Why should I expect my kids to be flawless? Why should they always be cheerful and well-behaved? Life’s challenges can weigh on me, so why shouldn’t they affect my children too? We strive to promote kindness in our home, but isn’t it a struggle for adults to maintain that mindset all the time? We’ve all made mistakes.
I have two wonderful daughters who make good choices but can also act like little troublemakers at times. We engage in discussions about their actions—both positive and negative. What kind of parent would I be if I only praised them for their achievements and not supported them through their mistakes? How will they grow if I don’t let them experience and learn from life’s ups and downs? My girls are human; they do good, make mistakes, and at times inspire others. I celebrate their awards and achievements, but I also embrace the lessons learned from their missteps, knowing these experiences will mold them into resilient and compassionate adults.
In conclusion, parenting is not about striving for perfection but about guiding our children through their unique journeys—mistakes and all.
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