In a quiet corner of the rink, I overheard the whispers. A seven-year-old boy, clad in his full hockey gear, leaned against the glass doors, waiting for an adult. “His mom never shows up; it’s so sad,” one voice said softly. “If I knew which bag was his, I’d help him change,” came the response.
Parenting is truly a balancing act, isn’t it? Juggling hockey practices, football games, and gymnastics classes. Remembering to gather supplies for school projects, picking up Valentine’s cards for class parties, signing permission slips, and managing RSVPs for birthday celebrations. It’s about rushing to the store for last-minute gifts and ensuring the lunch you prepped the night before includes a snack. It’s buying the right dance shoes for your daughter’s competitions and getting new skates for your son’s growing feet. It’s making dinner and ensuring your kids have their winter gear, like boots, hats, and gloves. It’s about orchestrating drop-offs and pick-ups so your kids never feel left out or late.
While my hustle may differ from yours, we all engage in the intricate dance of scheduling and mental checklists that keep our lives running smoothly.
Listening to those moms at the rink stirred something in me. I felt a deep empathy for all the times I’ve been that “MIA parent.” When I couldn’t be there to pick up my daughter from dance or watch my son on the football field. When I missed the winter party in first grade or nearly missed my three-year-old’s first daycare event because of work commitments.
I have often found myself in that MIA role. But I want to clarify something important: while I may not always be physically present, my heart is always with my children. I packed snacks for my daughter’s dance practice, checked to ensure she had her shoes for all types of dance, and laid out her clothes. I made sure my son had everything he needed for football, from his mouth guard to his jersey.
Even when I can’t be there for dinner, I prepare it in advance. I set out their winter gear by the door and packed their daycare essentials before rushing off to work at 6 a.m. You might not always see me, but I’m always working behind the scenes.
My absence doesn’t reflect my love or commitment to my children. Every family has its own dynamics, and it’s vital not to judge one another based on what we see on the surface. We all have different responsibilities and priorities—whether it’s work, caring for aging relatives, or managing other relationships. Everyone’s situation is unique.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I found myself in Whistler, Canada, with my partner. While he was busy chairing a conference, I was able to enjoy some skiing with friends. A friend asked if it was the first time I had left my kids for an extended period. It wasn’t. I explained that while I felt guilt and anxiety about leaving them, there was also excitement in being able to focus on my relationship and friendships. I believe it’s important for my kids to understand that they are part of a larger world. I love them dearly and cherish our time together, but I also need to nurture other aspects of my life that contribute to my well-being.
Sometimes life circumstances force us to prioritize work commitments, but there are moments when taking time for ourselves or our relationships is equally essential. My life revolves around my kids, but it also encompasses being a strong individual and reminding them of the bigger picture around them.
Ultimately, we all strive to be there for our children in the best way we can. This may mean being late to practices because of overlapping schedules or enlisting a babysitter for dance when work calls. It might involve taking time away to nurture our marriages or volunteering at school events. Saying no to a work commitment to support your child at an important event is equally valid.
Being an MIA parent doesn’t signify failure. I understand this better than most. To every MIA hockey parent out there, know that I see you. I see your child in that perfectly fitted hockey helmet and jersey. I understand that you are doing your best, and that’s what matters most.
For those navigating the journey of parenthood, consider checking out resources like this guide for home insemination or this information on intrauterine insemination for further insights into family planning.
In conclusion, parenting is a complex and often chaotic journey, filled with moments of absence and presence. It’s essential to recognize that love and commitment exist even when we can’t physically be there.
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