My daughter is ten years old and has been begging me to download TikTok on my phone so she can create funny lip-sync videos. “Everyone has it, even the kid whose mom is a social worker and an FBI agent,” she insists. With that level of peer pressure, I gave in and downloaded the app while she was at school. However, I quickly discovered that I needed an account to explore. After briefly attempting a username like “Chardonaynay47,” I decided to go with something less mom-like: gummibear9.
In one word, my experience can be summed up as: no way is my kid getting this app.
At first glance, TikTok seems innocent, just kids making music videos. But it’s much more than that; it’s a platform where user-generated content from millions of people is readily available, which includes live streaming. This is how I stumbled upon explicit content—a naked man live-streaming in a way that left little to the imagination. It’s inevitable that kids will come across inappropriate material, so why not let them explore it now? We might as well let them get drunk or high while we’re at it. After all, if an 8-year-old can use the potty, why not let them navigate the online world?
Friends suggest I make her account private to protect her from potential dangers, but my worries extend beyond just predators. Imagine dropping your child off at a warehouse filled with unknowns, hoping for the best but preparing for the worst. Even if your child is invisible, they can still see and hear everything happening around them. Would you take that risk?
Setting an account to private may shield your child from unwanted attention, but they are still exposed to harmful content. Kids are searching for and engaging with terms like “thot” (That Ho Over There) and other coded language that filters through TikTok’s algorithms. They lip-sync to songs with explicit lyrics, and I even saw a boy around 10 years old with a username that was disturbingly graphic.
Worse yet, there are videos promoting self-harm and suicide, filled with dark themes that are far too heavy for young minds. The hashtags alone, like #killingstalking or #selfharm, show a troubling reality about what kids are exposed to online. Some even attempt to save each other from despair, but this dynamic is deeply troubling; children should not be navigating these dark waters.
Am I exaggerating? Try spending a few weeks immersed in hashtags like #fgirl and #cutting. You’ll need to genuinely understand what your child is encountering.
Do parents really know what their kids are posting or watching? Often, they don’t. Take the case of Dylan, a student involved in the Columbine tragedy who appeared well-adjusted but was hiding deep emotional struggles. His loving parents had no clue about his pain. The lesson is that we often don’t know our children as well as we think we do. The adolescent brain is still developing, and what they see and experience online matters.
Consider how much time your child spends on screens—8 to 12-year-olds typically average four hours a day. As these kids transition into adulthood, will they have had enough time to explore their imaginations and the world around them? If they are always tied to their online identity, they may lack the resilience and space to develop healthy coping mechanisms.
An online persona can lead to commodification of self-worth, where validation is based on likes and followers. With social media amplifying body image issues, studies show that girls as young as ten are struggling with anxiety and depression. Frances Jensen from the University of Pennsylvania notes that while social media may not directly cause these issues, they can certainly intensify existing feelings of insecurity.
To address these concerns, I propose an enticing incentive: What if kids could earn $1600 from a foundation—like the Gates Foundation—if they stayed off all social media until age 16? This could provide a much-needed buffer for childhood development.
In conclusion, while TikTok and similar platforms may seem harmless, they can expose children to a world of risks that we as parents must navigate carefully. Instead of diving into the abyss of social media, let’s encourage our kids to explore the richness of the real world.
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