Thank you for your thoughtful letter regarding the volume of our little one. It’s always a delight to receive personal notes instead of bills!
I must commend you on the effort put into your three-page handwritten correspondence. It’s a shame we haven’t yet swapped email addresses for more frequent updates.
You mentioned that our toddler’s cheerful morning sounds wake you up at 6:00 a.m., and I was surprised to hear that you haven’t had a lie-in “even” on weekends! Since our child usually rises around 4:30, it’s reassuring to know we’re not too loud!
Your offer to assist in selecting a “proper” carpet is intriguing, especially since you’re an interior designer. What exactly is the “proper” carpet for cleaning up after poop, vomit, and spaghetti?
I was amused by your suggestion that we take some toys outside. I’d be delighted to have our toddler play “bang the toy” on your air conditioning unit, as the fresh air is good for everyone—almost as good as a nutritious breakfast launched from a high chair!
You’re correct; I did introduce myself when you moved in and said, “Let me know if we’re too noisy.” Kind of like how your boyfriend sweetly insists, “No, babe, those pleather pants are totally flattering,” right?
You can hear my train sounds from the storybook? Just a heads up, the air vents do carry sound both ways. Regarding your boyfriend, I’d say Sarah, who you should consider calling less frequently, isn’t giving you the whole story. But you can trust me on that.
I couldn’t help but notice your impressive balancing act last Thursday with your green smoothie, coffee, and yoga bag while wearing heels on the way to your SUV. Your hair looked fabulous—as if you had time to style it, while I was in desperate need of a shower!
Oh, and do remember to collect your West Elm package left by the front door. I wouldn’t want my son to “accidentally” jump on the “fragile” sticker.
Isn’t mail wonderful?
Warm regards,
The Upstairs Mom
P.S. For anyone interested in home insemination resources, check out this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re curious about at-home kits, this blog post on artificial insemination is a great read. You can also explore this intracervical insemination syringe kit for more information.
In summary, living in close quarters can definitely lead to amusing exchanges. While noise can be a challenge, it’s all part of the parenting journey.
Leave a Reply