March 12, 2023
One of the most remarkable mothers I know never actually gave birth; in fact, I brought her into the world.
Just two weeks after my daughter Ella turned 23, I was struck by an SUV while biking in New Jersey. Initially, my survival was uncertain. I spent months in the hospital and then transitioned to a rehabilitation center. With a traumatic brain injury, a broken jaw, and various fractures, I was as defenseless as a newborn.
In this challenging time, my daughter transformed into my caregiver. She taught me how to walk again and how to feed myself. When it became evident that I could only handle movies with simple plots, this determined daughter agreed to watch “Frozen” with me—three times! I completely related to the character Olaf, a lovable snowman who often forgets things. My brain was similarly unreliable; for months, I struggled to remember even basic information mere moments after it was shared. Family members noted the heart-wrenching sight of me standing in front of a mirror, momentarily lost, unable to recall why I was there.
Ella’s keen sense of humor helped lighten this heavy burden; she affectionately dubbed me “Olaf?”
Like any devoted mother, Ella juggled multiple responsibilities—her demanding job in New York City and the exhausting commute on New Jersey Transit. Just as she was managing the chaos of my recovery, she faced an even graver challenge: her father, my husband Tom, received devastating news about his prostate cancer, which had taken a turn for the worse. The oncologist predicted he had less than two years left.
Ella stepped up to the plate, embracing this new role with resilience. Once she had me on the mend, she focused on ensuring her father’s comfort. She coordinated caregiving shifts among family members, administered his medications, sought out meals he could tolerate, and asked the tough questions to his oncologist.
But like any great mother, she made sure to find joy amid the sorrow. I distinctly remember one day when Tom, a devoted Yankees fan, had tickets to a game that he was no longer able to attend due to his illness. Ella quickly came up with an alternative. She gathered us around the TV and painted red baseball stitching on his bald head, transforming it into a makeshift baseball. Between the iconic red stitches, she even painted a Yankees logo.
That day was a home run, bringing us together and shifting the focus away from Tom’s illness to cheer for the home team. Those moments of laughter and smiles fortified us during such trying times.
Ella is destined to be a wonderful mother someday, just as she has been for me.
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Summary:
In a touching narrative, Julia Matthews reflects on how her daughter Ella stepped into the role of caregiver after a serious accident left Julia incapacitated. As both a daughter and a mother, Ella navigated the challenges of her own life while providing support for her mother and managing her father’s terminal illness. Through humor and creativity, she brought joy to their family during difficult times, showcasing her nurturing spirit.
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