As a former teacher, I’ve encountered my fair share of challenging students. I’ve taught in underprivileged urban areas, a rural orphanage in India, and a mostly white suburban community. Each place had children facing various difficulties, from following instructions to acting out aggressively. I often found myself wondering, “What’s happening at home? Are these kids neglected, too much exposed to screens, or lacking structure?” The need to pinpoint the cause or assign blame is a natural human instinct.
Now, as a mother to a toddler, I’m here to declare that my child can be downright difficult, and I refuse to keep apologizing for it. I strive to create a nurturing and stable environment for my son. I’m currently a stay-at-home parent, providing a consistent routine that includes fun outings to various play areas, albeit germ-infested ones. He attends daycare once a week, as well as a “Mom and Me” class to fulfill both his social needs and my desire for a little peace. Our family dinners and bedtime rituals are all part of fostering a loving atmosphere.
In our household, we promote non-violent behavior. We don’t hit, slap, or push. Yet, despite my best efforts, my son has still adopted aggressive behaviors. The last few months have been particularly challenging—for me, not for my two-year-old, who seems unfazed by how his actions impact others. Every outing with other children usually ends with him inadvertently hurting someone.
If you happen to be in his way, taking too long down the slide, or nibbling on a blueberry he considers his, be prepared for a shove or slap. In the past, I would have rushed to apologize profusely to the other child’s parent, feeling embarrassed and powerless to control my child’s behavior.
However, I’ve recently had a breakthrough. It’s time to embrace the reality that my son is a typical, developmentally appropriate toddler. He’s smart, incredibly fast, loves deeply, and yes, he hits. So what? He isn’t “bad,” “mean,” or “naughty.” He’s simply learning about the world. At this stage of development, using his hands is often easier and quicker than finding the right words.
While I recognize that hitting isn’t acceptable, I’ve decided to calmly address the behavior and move forward without the guilt or shame of questioning my parenting. Instead, I choose to embrace my strong-willed, ambitious toddler and seize every opportunity to teach him better ways to express himself and show kindness. I refuse to feel embarrassed or label him as “bad.” It’s my responsibility to be his biggest cheerleader and most loving teacher, and I’m proud to take on that role.
For more insights on parenting and child development, check out this resource, along with other resources like this guide, which is a great authority on these topics. You might also find valuable information on pregnancy at this NHS page.
Summary:
Navigating the challenges of toddler behavior can be overwhelming for parents. Acknowledging that hitting is a phase many children go through is crucial. Instead of succumbing to shame, embracing each learning opportunity allows parents to guide their children toward better behavior. Understanding that toddlers are still developing their communication skills can alleviate some of the pressure. It’s essential to support and educate them through these moments rather than feel guilty.
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