Some women seem to be born with an innate mothering instinct, while others, like me, are just trying to figure it out along the way. I never fantasized about having a large family, mainly because I wasn’t sure how to interact with children. In fact, before our first child arrived, my partner, Alex, had changed more diapers than I ever had. You might assume that I chose to have five kids because parenting comes naturally to me, but that would be a misconception. Fortunately, life had a different, better plan for me.
If you can relate to any of the following signs, you’re not alone:
- You’d Rather Not Hold Babies: While infants can be adorable, you don’t feel the urge to hold someone else’s child. You’ve got your own little one to care for.
- Kids Are Not on Your Radar: Often, you may not even notice the children around you. You can be so engrossed in adult conversations that acknowledging the little ones nearby slips your mind, and you’d much prefer to keep the grown-up chatter going.
- It Takes a While to Register: Your kids might call your name multiple times before it clicks. You’re often lost in your own thoughts.
- You Treat Kids Like Adults: You expect children to behave and focus as if they were adults. Simple tasks like getting dressed or brushing teeth can feel like unreasonable demands at times.
- Your Kids Wouldn’t Be Your Friends: If your kids were peers, you’d probably avoid them. Who wants to hang out with someone who has tantrums over snack choices? Thankfully, cuteness and cuddles can make up for a lot.
- Alone Time is Sacred: Like most moms, you cherish your privacy, even when it comes to bathroom breaks. But the worry of what mischief might unfold while you’re gone is always looming.
- You Dread Loud Noises: The sound of crying, shouting, and messiness can send you into a frenzy.
- Every Interaction is Intentional: Whether it’s story time or playtime, you consciously decide to engage with your children. These moments don’t come naturally; they require effort and planning.
- Babysitting is Not Your Thing: You’ve always avoided taking care of kids who are older or of a different gender than your own, as their behavior is a mystery to you.
- Your Love is Boundless: Despite feeling out of your depth, your love for your children is profound. You worry about your parenting skills and hope for the best. Their laughter, hugs, and smiles are everything to you.
Can you identify with any of these experiences? Feel free to share your own “unnatural” parenting stories. Remember, you’re doing your best!
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Summary
Motherhood can feel overwhelming, especially if it doesn’t come naturally to you. From avoiding other people’s kids to cherishing the quiet moments alone, many find themselves navigating parenting with a sense of uncertainty. However, the love and commitment you have for your children shine through, no matter how challenging it may be.
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