Hearing your seven-year-old drop the f-bomb can be shocking, especially when it’s directed towards you. My son, Leo, started using the word last year when he was frustrated. The first time it happened was during dinner. My father was with the kids, as usual. I was busy preparing spaghetti and meatballs when my daughter, Mia, mentioned to her brother, Alex, “Leo got in trouble at school today.”
I knew that being in trouble was serious for Leo, as it usually meant a call from his teacher. Suddenly, I heard him shout, “You fucker, Tattletale.” My dad’s eyes widened, and Mia and Alex burst into laughter.
“What did you just say?” I called from the kitchen, but Leo just stared at me, his cheeks flushed, teeth gritted, and tears welling in his eyes. I pointed toward his room and told him, “Don’t come out until you’re ready to apologize.” A loud slam followed, accompanied by an even louder scream, “You’re all fuckers!”
The next incident occurred after school when Mia rushed in and ate the last donut. From my office, I heard Leo mutter, “You fucker.” I yelled for him, and when I went to his room, I reiterated, “That language isn’t allowed here.”
“But Alex uses it. Mia does too,” he protested. I told him I hadn’t heard them say such words before. Then he hit me with, “Mommy, you use it!”
I paused, realizing he was right. I do have a penchant for the word “fucker.” It slips out when I’m upset, whether I’m muttering “Are you fucking kidding me?” after a frustrating day or yelling at drivers in traffic.
Recently, instead of sending Leo to his room when he curses, I simply raise my eyebrows and shake my head—just like he does to me.
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In summary, I’ve learned that while setting boundaries is important, it’s also essential to acknowledge our own behavior. By adjusting my approach, I hope to foster a more understanding environment for Leo, where we can both learn from our words and actions.
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