If I had to outline my parenting aspirations, I’d say I aim for a balanced approach, much like Goldilocks. I’m not a strict Tiger Mom or an overbearing Helicopter Mom; while I maintain a relaxed vibe about many things, I wouldn’t categorize myself as a Free-Range Parent either. I strive to find that sweet spot.
However, I must admit, sometimes I end up being a bit of a soft touch. I allow my kids to bounce on the couch and toss balls around indoors. I don’t strictly prohibit swearing—provided it’s not directed at someone—and I’m fairly lenient with screen time. With my fondness for snacks, our pantry is always stocked with treats.
Our home is typically a lively and enjoyable space… until it suddenly isn’t.
Before long, my usually delightful children morph into little terrors, whining about their post-dinner dessert or insisting that five hours of gaming is far from sufficient. They become irritable and difficult, and my partner and I exchange glances filled with confusion and frustration, silently asking, who are these kids? That’s when I realize I’ve crossed the line. I’ve fully embraced the role of a Soft Touch Parent.
Regular bedtimes shift to flexible ones until they disappear entirely. A casual dessert after dinner spirals into a free-for-all of sugary delights. My relaxed stance on swearing and screen time eventually turns my kids into ranting, screen-obsessed zombies.
And let me clarify: it’s not due to laziness. I may be many things, but lazy isn’t one of them. My soft touch parenting doesn’t stem from a lack of love or involvement; instead, it’s a result of life’s hectic pace. Between work responsibilities and the intention to have fun family outings—like spontaneous dinners or movie nights—I sometimes lose track of time. Or maybe I’m indulging in chocolate bars and don’t want to be a hypocrite by forbidding them for my kids.
Regardless of the reason for my soft touch parenting—whether it’s good intentions gone awry or life simply getting in the way—the outcome is never beneficial. It doesn’t take long for my kids to transform from sweet, albeit spirited, children into whining, unruly, entitled little brats.
Though I prefer not to play the villain, I’m more than willing to be the “Mean Mom” when the moment calls for it. Unfortunately, that side of me usually only appears after the Soft Touch Parent has lost complete control, and my kids are binging on junk food while watching movies at an inappropriate hour. Just kidding. Mostly.
Bringing back the boundaries as a Soft Touch Parent is never a joyous process, and everyone experiences a bit of withdrawal from our indulgent lifestyle. Bedtimes are reinstated. The gaming console gets shut off. And the stash of junk food is tucked away.
Eventually, we find our way back to normalcy. The kids become well-rested, less irritable, and better behaved. I evolve into a firmer parent, comfortable with being the “mean” one from time to time, and we settle into a healthier, though slightly less exciting, routine.
If you’ve noticed things slipping a little lately, don’t worry. Being a Soft Touch Parent isn’t synonymous with being a bad or lazy parent. It’s simply a sign of a loving and adaptable parent who sometimes lets things slide because—let’s face it—it’s often more enjoyable. You’re not causing irreversible harm or raising spoiled children, and you can always regain control, even if it involves a bit of whining and a serious adjustment period.
You’ll rediscover your parenting rhythm, and peace will return to your household.
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Summary
In the chaos of parenting, it’s easy to slip into the role of a Soft Touch Parent, where boundaries blur and fun takes precedence. However, recognizing when things have gone too far can lead to necessary adjustments for the well-being of both the parents and kids. Finding the right balance often involves a temporary return to structure, ensuring a healthier family environment.
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