One evening, while taking a stroll with your older brother in the stroller, your dad offered to take over. I hesitated, unsure if I could stand on my own if I let go. After numerous tests and appointments, I received the diagnosis: I have multiple sclerosis (MS), and I was in the midst of a significant flare-up.
As I sat in the doctor’s office absorbing the news and discussing next steps, all I could think was, “This is serious.” It felt like the most challenging moment of my life. My mind raced to a family friend of my mother’s who used a motorized wheelchair, and I suddenly feared for our future. The idea of having you felt impossible. A neurologist even mentioned, “Getting pregnant now could worsen your prognosis.” I understood; caring for myself was already a struggle, let alone another child. In that moment, I wished for a definitive diagnosis, even if it were a brain tumor.
However, after months of research and reflection, I’ve come to realize that having MS is not as dire as I once thought. A year and a half later, I feel healthier than I’ve ever been. With the support of my new neurologist and OB, I am filled with hope as I carry you. Our journey is just beginning, and I want you to know that we’re ready for whatever challenges we may face. Our little family is destined for a beautiful life together.
Embracing Uncertainty
First and foremost, we must embrace uncertainty. The truth is, no one can predict how my MS will evolve. In the coming years, I might lose my vision, struggle to walk, or even forget your name. But perhaps I won’t. Regardless, I hope my experience with MS instills in you a sense of compassion and resilience that can only come from facing life’s adversities.
We don’t know what the future holds, but that uncertainty is a universal experience. We are fortunate to be acutely aware of this reality. I have learned to focus on what we can control and make the most of it. For instance, your older brother, even at two and a half, will guide you through life with his unique blend of wisdom and enthusiasm. He is truly an old soul. Your dad is incredible—funny and ready for any challenge. Together, we make a fantastic team, and you can always count on us to navigate uncertainty with determination, humility, and laughter. We are committed to giving you the best life possible.
Seizing the Moments
We also need to seize the moments we have now. I’ve never enjoyed running, but I trained for and completed a 5K while I still could. Many mothers don’t think about standing in photos, unaware that one day they might not be able to. I am determined to live life to the fullest while I can. This means making early morning swims at the YMCA a regular occurrence because we can. It also means lending a hand to our elderly neighbor by mowing their lawn, simply because we should. (Just a heads-up, we aren’t a family that sits around for long!)
Finding a Cause and a Cure
Moreover, we need to work toward finding a cause and a cure for this disease. When I received my MS diagnosis in 2016, there was limited information about its causes. It’s believed to stem from a mix of environmental factors, genetic predisposition, and possibly a virus. Anyone could face this reality. No one understands why I was diagnosed, how severe it will become, or how to cure it. I hold onto hope that research will advance quickly so you won’t have to deal with MS.
While hope is essential, it’s not a strategy, as my sister once pointed out. We must take action to help find a solution. This means raising funds for research, celebrating breakthroughs, and sharing our experiences with MS to raise awareness. We need more advocacy, more funding, and more voices to join us in this fight. I’m excited to see how you and your brother become champions for this cause.
A Message of Love
My deepest hope is that when you read this, MS will have had little to no effect on your life. If that’s not the case, remember how loved you are and how inspired I am to be your mom. You and your brother motivate me to stay healthy. We are a resilient and positive family, and I will do everything to instill these qualities in you. MS does not define me, and I am committed to ensuring it doesn’t define your life either. Together, we can navigate whatever comes our way. I love you endlessly.
Conclusion
In conclusion, living with multiple sclerosis has shaped our family’s journey, but it will not dictate our future. We embrace the unknown with courage, love, and hope.
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