Recently, my daughter shared the exciting news that she had made it to the finals of her school’s Geography Bee. She expressed her nerves and reluctance, saying, “I’m not going to win, so why bother?” I completely understand her feelings; I still struggle with similar thoughts at 42. The challenge is how to instill in her the confidence to give it her all, regardless of the outcome. It’s a delicate balance; we want our kids to experience joy without the burden of excessive pressure.
I encouraged her to take the stage, suggesting she focus on me if it would help. I assured her that, win or lose, I would be proud of her no matter what. She went for it, and while it was clear she was battling her desire to be the best, she persevered. Although she didn’t clinch a victory, I hope she enjoyed the experience more than she let on. My daughter sees herself as an average kid, but I want her to know that being average doesn’t mean she can’t succeed or that I’m disappointed in her.
All three of my children are pretty average. They occasionally make the honor roll, but it requires a lot of effort. They’re involved in sports and various clubs, where they have moments of brilliance but also many times when they struggle. They don’t shine as star athletes or top scholars, and that’s perfectly fine with me.
Of course, as their mom, I sometimes hope they excel in something to boost their confidence. I occasionally feel frustration when they seem to be slacking off, which likely reflects my own experiences in school where I found little interest in academics or sports. I didn’t engage fully in activities, yet I turned out just fine, and I believe my kids will too.
I recall watching a fellow parent coach his son’s basketball team, where the boy stood out as a star. However, after the game, I overheard the father harshly criticizing his son for mistakes. It made me wonder if the boy loved basketball or played out of fear of disappointing his dad. That’s a heavy load for a child to bear.
Children shouldn’t be ridiculed for being average; they need acceptance. Encouraging them to do their best is vital, but we shouldn’t impose unrealistic expectations that could harm their self-esteem. Remember, you didn’t have kids to live out your dreams through them; they are their own individuals.
I never want my children to feel I’m upset with them for missing a shot in a game or a question in a competition like the Geography Bee. I’m proud of them for simply stepping up and doing their best, just as I am for my daughter who faced her fears.
So yes, I’m the proud mother of three wonderfully average kids, and my love for them is unwavering, regardless of their grades or athletic achievements. I prioritize their happiness, kindness, and effort. They know how much I value these qualities because I remind them constantly. Being average doesn’t mean they are any less extraordinary in their own right.
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Summary
Celebrating average children is essential for their self-esteem and happiness. Parents should foster a supportive environment that prioritizes effort and joy over perfection. Acceptance and encouragement allow kids to thrive without the pressure to excel.
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