Becoming a mother brings a whirlwind of unexpected experiences. I’m not just talking about the typical milestones like the first diaper change or that magical moment when they take their first steps. I mean those moments that catch you completely off guard—the ones you swore you’d never encounter when you were a childless friend judging other parents. Like when you use a baby wipe to remove your makeup because you’re too exhausted to follow your skincare routine or when breakfast means letting your kids munch on Fruit Loops straight from the box on the way to school. And then, of course, there’s that unforgettable time you shouted from the bathroom, “No, you can’t ride the dog! Why would you think that’s a good idea?”
For parents of children with special needs, this journey is filled with even more unique experiences. Some moments are humorous in retrospect, like the time I ended up on a watch list after a heated exchange with an uncooperative insurance agent, while others are tinged with sadness, like when a small hurt brings me to tears in the pantry.
Today was a day filled with a first I never anticipated.
My daughter is 15 years old and has severe autism. She attends a small rural high school that, honestly, has been a great fit for her. The staff is wonderful, she has a full-time paraeducator, and she participates in school activities to the best of her ability. Most importantly, she seems genuinely happy there.
However, today I found myself drafting a letter to the school administration, giving them permission to physically restrain her if necessary.
In a country where reasonable gun laws are scant and with the terrifying rise of school shootings, I thought about the potential chaos if a shooter were to enter her school. What would happen to her in such a scenario? Every child deserves to feel safe and secure, but how would they manage to keep her calm and quiet amidst such horror?
I spoke with her teacher, the assistant principal, and the principal himself, and they all assured me they would do everything possible to protect her. But there’s a hard truth to face: restraining my daughter, keeping her calm and still, isn’t something that can be easily managed. Trust me, I’ve been her mother for fifteen years—I know her better than anyone.
Thus, I found myself penning a letter for the first time in my life, granting the school permission to physically restrain her if necessary. I detailed that I understood this could result in bruises or injuries and that I wouldn’t hold the school accountable. It was gut-wrenching to write those words, giving someone else the authority to hurt my child in an effort to protect her from a far greater danger. The notion of saying, “Please hurt my child to save her from something even worse,” is a painful first that I will never forget.
This experience just amplifies the ongoing conversation about safety in schools. It’s a grim reality that parents face today, desiring to protect their children from both the unpredictability of their own needs and the external threats posed by a society that seems unable to resolve the issue of gun violence.
If you’re interested in more facets of family planning and considerations concerning home insemination, check out this comprehensive resource from the CDC on infertility. Plus, for those curious about home insemination kits, you can learn more about them here.
In summary, my experience as a mother has taken me down paths I never expected, especially regarding my daughter’s safety in a world filled with uncertainties. Giving permission for restraint in a school setting was a heartbreaking first, driven by love and a desire to protect.
Leave a Reply