“Oh, I can’t invite you over,” other moms often say. “My place is a disaster.” The moment I step into their home for a playdate, they immediately start with the apologies: “Please don’t judge me; it’s a total mess. Seriously, don’t look! I’m so embarrassed.”
Truth be told, it’s all a facade.
When I enter the home of the mom who’s so quick to apologize for her kitchen, the scattered toys in the living room, or the imaginary dirt in her bathroom, I’m torn between laughter and disbelief. Seriously? Your house isn’t messy; it’s pristine! You have neatly arranged guest towels, the toys are confined to a rug that isn’t littered with crumbs, and the dog doesn’t shed. Claiming your home is dirty is either a sign of denial, a misunderstanding of what life with small children is like, or a tactic to make me feel guilty. Probably all of the above. So let’s get real—if you have small children, shame is not an option. I have three boys under five, and I know the struggle.
For all you moms out there who insist your spotless homes are “messy,” and for those who avoid hosting because you think your home isn’t up to standard, let’s clarify what ‘normal’ looks like:
Normal:
There’s at least one room in your house that is perpetually cluttered and messy. For me, that’s the dining room, furnished with my great-grandmother’s cherry dining set. It’s where I sew, store art supplies, and occasionally hide laundry baskets. Unless it’s a special occasion, you’re not allowed to see it, Judgy McJudgerson!
Normal:
Laundry is everywhere. Currently, I have five clean baskets in the laundry room blocking the fridge and likely creating a fire hazard. There’s also a clean load in the dryer and another in the washer. Forget dirty clothes; we’re laundry champions this week! But will those clean clothes make it to the drawers? Maybe. Once, a relative had to hide her kids’ Christmas present—a pet snake—under laundry baskets for two weeks!
Normal:
Your sink is overflowing with dirty dishes, and your dishwasher is equally full. When you find yourself using a teaspoon for your cereal, it’s time to tackle that pile.
Normal:
Bath toys are strewn across the tub, precisely where your kids left them after bathtime. Please don’t pull that shower curtain shut; we all know what’s behind it!
Normal:
Toys are scattered throughout the house, and despite your best efforts, you never manage to pick them all up. I once found plastic ball-pit balls in my washer, the yard, and even wedged between car seats!
Normal:
Cups, cups, and more cups are everywhere. My kids leave their juice cups around the house and then ask if they’re still good. Don’t pretend your kids don’t do this too!
Normal:
Art projects have left their mark. My bathtub has tie-dye stains, and I need to repaint the kitchen wall after letting my toddlers use acrylics. Maybe your little one took a pen to the wall and you haven’t had the time to clean it yet.
Normal:
Your car’s floor is a mess. Where else would all those fast-food cups and dirty sippy cups go? Your partner probably laments about it often.
Normal:
You forgot trash day—again. Your garbage can is overflowing, and your recycling bin looks like it hosted a party. But hey, as long as the trash is out of the house, you’re a winner!
Normal:
Dusting? What’s that? It’s been so long since I’ve dusted that I can’t even remember. Just don’t look at the high shelves if you have allergies!
Normal:
There’s at least one part of your home that’s been in disrepair for longer than you’d like to admit. My oldest has never seen us use our master bath shower, and it’s been like that for four years. I thought I was alone in this until I chatted with fellow moms who confessed similar secrets.
So there you have it. Your home is either remarkably clean (so stop the apologies) or you can embrace the chaos and host playdates without shame. We’re all navigating the same journey. I won’t peer into your dining room if you don’t peek into mine.
If you’re interested in exploring fertility options, check out this post for more insights, as well as this resource on couples’ fertility journeys. For comprehensive information about pregnancy and home insemination, this link is an excellent resource.
In summary, let’s stop pretending our homes are picture-perfect. Normal is messy, chaotic, and often a little embarrassing. But that’s okay—we’re all in this together!
Leave a Reply