My teenage daughter works at a local grocery store after school and on weekends, saving up for her first car. Most of her shifts involve ringing up customers, but last night she was on register when you and your partner came through her line. I imagine the conversation was pleasant; after all, it was toward the end of her shift, and she likely enjoyed chatting with nice people like you.
As you were finishing your transaction, instead of heading on your way, you turned back to her after she wished you a good night. You touched your face and said, “Wow, you have quite a bit of acne.” Then, you handed her your business card, claiming, “I sell products that can help with that. In six months, it’ll be gone!”
My daughter took your card, thanked you politely, and added, “But no thanks.” She’s been taught to be respectful and kind, but she’s also learning to stand up for herself.
I picked her up shortly after you left. As a single mom, I spend a lot of time driving my kids around, and these moments often lead to meaningful conversations. Last night, we talked about you and your comments.
Your words, regardless of your intention, hurt her feelings. She shared how her day had been going well until your remark. For a moment, I felt anger toward you because you had managed to spoil her good mood.
I like to think deeply about situations, and I try to understand why people act the way they do. I told my daughter, “Maybe you were just having a bad day, or perhaps you genuinely thought you were helping her.” But in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think: “Or maybe you lack basic social skills and should reconsider your approach.”
Despite my irritation, I noticed my daughter was smiling again, either because our talk was uplifting or a friend had texted something amusing. Your comments had cast a brief shadow over her day, but thankfully, it had lifted.
She’s a remarkable kid, smart and sociable, well-liked among her peers. However, she does struggle with some skin issues, like many teenagers do. We have various skincare products at home, and I try to provide her with healthy food options. She’s aware of her skin condition, and frankly, she doesn’t need a stranger pointing it out, especially not in a public setting.
Your approach was poorly timed and inappropriate. Instead of leaving the store, you chose to confront my daughter over a perceived flaw in an attempt to sell your products. That was misguided.
I have your card in front of me as I write this. In the past, I’ve learned that it’s wise to let my emotions settle before responding to situations that provoke me. I felt the urge to call you immediately, to express my outrage over your thoughtless comment, to make you realize how wrong you were. But I’ve decided against it for now. I will reach out eventually because it’s important you understand the impact of your actions.
Your words taught my daughter a hard lesson, one you likely didn’t intend to impart. She learned that words can hurt and that it’s essential to think before speaking. You inadvertently helped me prepare her for a world filled with people who may not consider the feelings of others.
So, MLM Woman, I hope you take this as a lesson too. The next time you feel the urge to promote your products, pause and consider your audience. Think about the impact of your words before you speak. And if you struggle with that, perhaps you could benefit from a little self-reflection — or maybe explore products that might improve your social skills.
Sincerely,
Mama Bear
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