Dear Reader,
Let me clarify something about my son’s eating habits. Yes, he is a selective eater, and no, his diet might not be what you’d consider balanced. He’s aware that Cinnamon Toast Crunch isn’t a food group, but despite his hunger, he won’t touch your (insert any food item that doesn’t include Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Vanilla Oreos, Velveeta Shells & Cheese, pizza, apples, or Pringles). This isn’t due to being “spoiled” or because we “give in to him.” It’s simply not that simple.
It’s not about whether your mac and cheese is good or not—it’s rooted in his sensory processing challenges. You see, he has autism, which means his brain processes sensory information differently than most. So, when he refuses your mac and cheese, it’s not a personal affront; it’s his way of protecting himself.
You might believe, “He’ll eat it when he’s hungry enough,” but let me assure you, that’s often not the case. As a mother who loves and advocates for him, I won’t be testing that theory. Would you willingly try a bite of food that smells and tastes revolting? Because that’s how your mac and cheese might come across to him, no offense intended.
His heightened sensory sensitivities are not a reflection of poor parenting or a sign of being a “stubborn child.” When he was younger, he would shout “no, no, no” at new foods presented to him. Now that he’s older, he can articulate his discomfort: “My brain and my body won’t allow that food in.” Whether it’s a smelly hard-boiled egg or a delicious brownie, his body reacts the same way—it’s a firm “no.” I honor that because I respect who he is.
I wish you would take the time to read some of the resources I’ve suggested; it might help you understand his sensory needs better. By doing so, you would spend less time battling him and more time connecting with him. You might realize how far he has come, rather than focusing on how far he still has to go.
Next time we visit, I encourage you to consider serving Velveeta Shells & Cheese—not because you’re “giving in,” but because you care about him and want to understand his needs. Learning about the person you love will help foster awareness and acceptance. Perhaps then, you will see him for who he truly is, rather than simply what’s on his plate.
Warm regards,
Sara’s Mom
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In summary, it’s crucial to understand that my son’s selective eating is a reflection of his unique sensory challenges, and with empathy and knowledge, we can foster a more supportive environment for him.
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