As a parent, I’ve developed a few go-to responses to the all-too-common childhood complaint: “I’m bored!” The first time I hear it, I casually reply, “Good. Stay bored.” By the second or third time, I might add, “Boredom indicates impatience and ignorance, and I’m not here to fix that—only you can!” Honestly, I couldn’t care less when my kids express their boredom. But it wasn’t always this way.
In my early days as a mother, I felt compelled to fill every minute of my children’s lives with engaging activities. I believed that a child’s idle moments were dangerous, and it was my responsibility to ensure they were constantly stimulated. I thought that seeing their kids stare at walls or daydream was the worst possible scenario, and I worked overtime to eliminate any “dead air” in their lives.
Then came more kids, and reality hit hard. With laundry piling up and meals to prepare, I simply didn’t have the energy to care about their complaints of boredom. Instead, I tuned them out completely, which, as it turns out, aligned with the advice of child psychologists and educators everywhere.
Why Boredom is Beneficial
What is that advice? It’s to let your kids experience genuine boredom. Research increasingly supports this notion, especially in our screen-saturated and overly scheduled world. Our good intentions to fill every minute of their lives are backfiring, leading to anxious and overwhelmed children. Their school days, intended to nurture their minds, often lack sufficient recess or free play, leaving them drained and unprepared for downtime. As a result, they cry out “I’m bored” because they don’t know how to tap into their creative thinking—what neuroscientists refer to as the brain’s “free-form attention network.”
Psychologist Mia Harper puts it this way: “Think of it like a computer with too many programs open. It slows down. When you close those programs, it speeds up again. Children need that downtime to recharge.” Just like computers require a reboot, kids need boredom and leisure time to enhance their mental functioning. This “goof-off” time allows them to choose their activities without adult direction.
Embracing Boredom
In my house, if you’re bored, don’t expect me to provide guidance. Instead, you might get an eye roll and one of my standard responses. If you’re ready to embrace your children’s boredom for their mental health and development, it’s a simple process. Just be consistent, don’t cave in, and ensure you and your partner agree on the importance of unstructured time. Give it a few months, and you’ll find kids who can entertain themselves. Now, that’s something worth caring about!
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Conclusion
In summary, allowing your children to experience boredom is essential for their growth and well-being. By stepping back and letting them explore their own interests, you can help foster creativity and independence.
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