From a young age, I recognized that patience was not my strong suit. What I didn’t realize was that my quick temper stemmed from underlying anxiety. I always felt this pressing urge to keep moving forward, whether it was due to FOMO (fear of missing out) or the habit of overthinking while waiting for others. This constant state made me feel overwhelmed, impatient, and often angry.
Becoming a parent brought this struggle into sharp focus. The patience required to console a crying baby or the time-consuming process of learning to breastfeed was daunting. I found myself grappling with feelings of anger and resentment, but I couldn’t pinpoint the source. After all, I had never hesitated to embrace motherhood.
I would often tell myself, “Just relax!” I was so eager to have children that I would approach any mother with a stroller, eager to hear all about their experiences. Perhaps it’s a slight exaggeration, but I was undeniably drawn to pregnant women and parents, hoping some of their joyful energy would rub off on me.
Then came the day I was nursing my youngest son for what felt like forever, the only way he would sleep. In that moment, a realization struck me: the anger I felt was misdirected—it was aimed at myself. My short fuse was preventing me from being the parent I aspired to be. I was frustrated with myself for feeling overwhelmed when teaching my kids to tie their shoes or enjoy an ice cream cone without making a mess, which only heightened my anxiety.
I believe most parents, unless they’re saints, face moments of impatience, particularly if they deal with stress and anxiety. Our stress can manifest as anger when we don’t know how to cope, leading to situations where we find ourselves tying our child’s shoes out of sheer desperation.
And I know all too well the aftermath of losing your temper. Even if you don’t completely explode over something trivial, like your child taking too long to use a public restroom, you’re left with a heavy guilt for not having the patience you wished you could show. You regret rushing them or snapping when they excitedly share their love for a show like “Paw Patrol,” and you just crave a moment of quiet.
You feel selfish for allowing those emotions to take control because you genuinely want the best for your children. You know you overreact sometimes, but the intensity of the moment makes it hard to rein it in.
I, like many other parents, have experienced this countless times. I’ve had to step away when my child struggled to zip their jacket, promising myself to do better the next day. Some days I succeed; others, I fall short. But that doesn’t make us bad parents. If you’re a short-fused parent, you are not alone. We all have moments of frustration because, let’s face it, raising children is incredibly challenging.
There will come a time when our kids will understand our struggles, perhaps when they have children of their own. For now, they just need us to love them fiercely and acknowledge our humanity, even if it sometimes comes with a side of frustration.
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Summary
Being a short-fused parent is a common struggle fueled by stress and anxiety. Many parents experience moments of impatience that lead to feelings of guilt. Recognizing these emotions is crucial to becoming the kind of parent you want to be. It’s important to remember that you’re not alone in this journey, and understanding will come with time.
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