Recently, I opened up about my experience with a labial tear following the birth of my first child. During my six-week postpartum check-up, my doctor casually mentioned that the stitches hadn’t held, leaving me with what I jokingly referred to as my “flap.” It was a rather unglamorous souvenir from childbirth, a true badge of courage. I aimed to bring some humor to what can be a distressing experience and perhaps offer support to others who might be going through something similar.
Here are four key takeaways from my decision to share my story with the online world:
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Vaginas Make Some People Uncomfortable
“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe she talked about her vagina! That’s so disgusting!” Yes, it’s true. But let’s be real—childbirth itself is far from glamorous. Whether through surgery or natural delivery, the process is messy and raw. And for those who are fortunate enough to avoid serious damage, there’s often still a surprise waiting that requires some post-birth care. But hey, if my husband still finds me attractive after witnessing our baby’s entrance into the world, then I’m completely fine with my flappy situation! -
Many Appreciate the Honesty
The response to my article was overwhelming, with numerous strangers reaching out to share their own stories and express gratitude for my openness. Many women felt relieved to know they weren’t alone in their experiences with labial tears, which, while common, don’t seem to get the same attention as more severe perineal tears. I might not be aiming for a career as a model, but it was heartening to see that others found both humor and comfort in my story. -
Female Anatomy Knowledge Is Lacking
“Em, you should really share that piece with Grandma. You know, the one about your lab-ee-ya.”
“Mom, it’s pronounced ‘lay-bee-ya,’ not ‘lab-ee-ya!’” You’d be surprised at how many people are unaware that labial tears can happen or even what labia are. One friend even used my article as a teaching moment for her husband, and I couldn’t have been prouder. It’s shocking how little we discuss our anatomy, especially in prenatal classes where the focus is often solely on the baby. There’s hardly any dialogue about what happens down there, aside from the obligatory ice packs and mesh underwear. When a friend mentioned her fourth-degree tear, I was taken aback by her confusion over why I was horrified. “Is that bad?” she asked, not realizing it was the most severe type of tear. Yikes! We need to elevate the conversation around female genitalia and give the labia the recognition it deserves. -
It’s Time to Advocate for Yourself
This experience taught me the importance of being my own advocate when it comes to health care. I attempted to reach out to my insurance company to discuss coverage options for any potential repairs, but the wait time was excessive. I hung up, but I plan to call back—eventually. Women often hesitate to voice their discomfort to doctors or insurers, whether due to embarrassment or lack of knowledge. We must feel empowered to say, “This doesn’t feel right; what can we do about it?” Prior to welcoming my next child, I will ensure I have a detailed discussion with my provider and insurance about what to expect regarding potential repairs. We all deserve to feel confident and cared for in our postpartum journey.
If you’re a new mom feeling uncertain about your postpartum body, remember that you are not alone. I’m right here with you, flap and all, ready to offer support!
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