Throughout my life, I’ve grappled with a deep-seated fear of spiders. I have a close relative who, as an adult, still dreads the darkness. During my time teaching high school English, I encountered students who were utterly paralyzed by the mere thought of speaking in front of their peers. From a fear of heights to a fear of death, we all have our phobias. However, once we become parents, our fears transform.
Ask any parent, and you’ll find that the most common fear is the safety of their children. This anxiety keeps us awake at night and sends our hearts racing as we watch them wander off. What if something happens to them? How would we cope? Despite understanding the depth of this fear, we often respond with judgment and criticism towards parents who face unimaginable loss.
In 2016, a tragic incident occurred when a 2-year-old boy named Ethan was playing near a waterway at a Disney World resort, only to be taken by an alligator while his parents watched helplessly. Last April, a 5-year-old boy named Oliver became entrapped in a booth at a rotating restaurant in Atlanta, leading to his untimely death. Recently, a little boy named Noah, who was about to celebrate his fourth birthday, tragically passed away after a bouncy ball lodged in his throat, dying in his mother’s desperate attempt to save him.
We hear about the dangers children face, from falling off tractors to sledding accidents, or even severe allergic reactions to bee stings or nuts that parents may not have known about.
How Should We Protect Our Children?
So, how should we protect our children? Should we bubble-wrap them and never let them out of our sight? Should we eliminate all toys from our homes, or ban all potential allergens? Should we forgo vacations and experiences? What kind of existence would that create for our kids?
When I learned of Ethan’s passing, I felt a profound sadness. We had visited Disney around that same time, and I pondered whether I would allow my children to play in similar waters. I likely would. Would I have taken them to a fascinating rotating restaurant? Absolutely, even if my 5-year-old might struggle to stay seated amidst the excitement. Yes, we’ve had bouncy balls in our home too.
My kids ride on tractors with their grandfather. My son has a nut allergy, yet we still venture out into the world, fully aware that accidents can occur at any moment. We take measures to protect them—seat belts, helmets, and carrying an EpiPen. We are not so different from Ethan’s parents, or Oliver’s, or Noah’s.
The Reality of Accidents
The harsh reality is that none of us are immune to accidents. We cannot guarantee our children’s safety. So, why do we resort to judgment against parents who have just endured the most horrific day of their lives?
Why do we throw hurtful comments like, “You should have known better than to let him play there,” at Ethan’s father, who bravely tried to save his son? Or scold Oliver’s parents with “You should’ve kept a closer eye on him!” or question Noah’s mother with, “Why did you even have bouncy balls around? Don’t you realize they’re choking hazards?”
Do we think these parents aren’t aware? Don’t we recognize that they would trade anything to go back and prevent the tragedy?
What do we gain by judging these grieving parents? Is it a misguided attempt to soothe our own anxieties about similar scenarios? By redirecting our fears onto those who are suffering, we fail to offer the compassion they desperately need.
The truth is, we can’t confidently claim, “That could never happen to me.” Sure, we might think we know better, but life is unpredictable. You may live in a region where alligators are a known danger, but what if you travel to a place prone to tornadoes? When disaster strikes your family, would you want to be met with harsh criticisms?
In solidarity with grieving parents like Ethan’s, I tied a blue ribbon to a tree outside my home when I heard of his tragic death. It was my way of expressing grief and fear for my own children, choosing to mourn with them instead of passing judgment.
Every time I celebrate my birthday or make a wish by blowing out candles, I wish for my children to lead long, healthy lives. This wish isn’t guaranteed, but I believe grieving parents share similar hopes.
Further Reading
To read more about navigating parenthood and its challenges, check out this insightful blog about couples’ fertility journey and learn about at-home insemination kits for those considering starting a family. For further guidance on pregnancy and parenting, Healthline offers excellent resources worth exploring.
Summary
When tragedy strikes, parents often face undue criticism instead of the understanding and compassion they need. Accidents can happen to anyone, and no child is ever completely safe. It’s essential to remember that empathy is more valuable than judgment, especially during the most devastating moments in a family’s life.
Leave a Reply