I find myself typing this in the stillness of the early morning hours, long before anyone else in my household stirs—except for my husband, who has been immersed in work for the last two hours. If it weren’t for his alarm blaring each morning, I might enjoy a few more moments of sleep, but alas, that’s not the case. Six days a week, he is up before dawn, often contemplating an extra shift on Sundays, though I’ve drawn the line there.
His rationale for waking early is simple: he prefers to be out of the house while everyone else is asleep rather than miss precious family time in the evenings. I’ve tried casually suggesting he might not need to pull those 12-hour workdays, but he often chuckles, believing I’m joking—anything less than that simply doesn’t register as an option for him.
I’m married to a true workaholic. Even if we had all the wealth in the world (which we don’t), he would still choose to work. I often ponder what will happen when he retires; will he find himself restless? Honestly, I can picture him at 99, still on the job, waving his cane to guide the younger employees, rather than lounging at home.
Living with a partner who is frequently absent presents its challenges. I handle everything from everyday chores to the chaos of four young kids simultaneously experiencing their wild moments—like when one is sick, the cat gets into mischief, and the roof starts leaking. While he does his best to assist from a distance—calling contractors and such—it’s me who is catching drips with pots and mopping up messes.
I’m in the trenches, managing the household, and it can be exhausting without support. Did I mention we have four kids?
However, what truly weighs on my mind isn’t the daily tasks I manage—it’s the family moments he misses. Each Saturday morning, I’m in the bleachers cheering for our two kids playing basketball, while he’s absent. Sometimes he makes a heroic effort to attend, driving from work just to catch a glimpse at halftime, his company logo prominently displayed on his shirt, though he’s constantly checking his phone—work never really takes a break.
He makes appearances at school events, and we often drive separately to parent-teacher conferences since he comes straight from the office. Recently, I was at the doctor’s office scheduling a minor surgery for our youngest, and I had to text him to confirm he could be there before finalizing the date. Naturally, he agreed but planned to arrive early to compensate for the missed time.
Our kids never doubt his pride in them; he ensures they feel loved and supported. While some might view our partnership as lopsided, it works for us. My concern isn’t about our family life but about the toll it takes on him. Will he one day reflect on his choices and regret the time he missed? Will he feel he devoted himself to the wrong priorities and mourn those lost moments?
Yet, I see in him a man whose enthusiasm and passion for his job are undeniable. His drive and dedication bring him joy, and for him, being a good provider is paramount. He truly cherishes the opportunities he can provide our kids, opportunities we didn’t have growing up, even if that means spending time away from them.
His relentless spirit is one of the traits that captivated me two decades ago. To stifle it would mean limiting a fundamental part of who he is. Sure, I sometimes wish for spontaneous family outings without waiting for him to return home or for a little more help around the house, but in the grand scheme of things, I recognize that it could be far worse.
Because while I may frequently try to lure him onto the couch next to me, I’m grateful I’m not spending my time trying to coax him off it.
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In summary, managing life with a workaholic partner comes with its unique set of challenges. While I often handle the day-to-day chaos of our family, I worry more about the time my husband misses with us. However, his passion for his work and the joy it brings him is a significant part of who he is, and ultimately, that’s what makes our relationship work.
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