In 2018, a 17-year-old named Emily Johnson faced an absurd situation when she was pulled from class for not wearing a bra. Apparently, her presence was “distracting” to her classmates, particularly the boys. To remedy this, she was asked to put on an additional shirt to cover her breasts and, believe it or not, was sent to the nurse’s office for Band-Aids to conceal her nipples. Yes, this truly happened in a modern American high school, and the administration had no basis for their actions—there’s nothing in the dress code that mandates wearing a bra.
As a parent, I was appalled by Emily’s experience. If anyone were to shame my child for their appearance like that, I would be furious. Yet, I wasn’t entirely shocked. I had a similar experience 22 years prior.
During my senior year, I had also decided to go braless for months, embracing my “free spirit” phase. I despised the discomfort of bras. Despite my larger breasts, I felt it was my choice whether to wear one. However, the dean—who was a woman—pulled me aside and claimed that my lack of a bra was “distracting” to other students. She mentioned that some kids had voiced their discomfort and insisted I should reconsider my attire.
I pushed back, expressing my discomfort with how some girls dressed, arguing that it wasn’t her place to dictate my clothing choices. I fought back, and I’m proud of that, even though I felt humiliated inside. Like Emily, I later spoke out about my experience, writing a letter to the school newspaper that was ultimately never published. I sensed the administration wanted to keep our stories quiet.
So when I learned that Emily had been blocked on Twitter by her school, I wasn’t surprised. Society often silences women and girls who dare to speak out about mistreatment. In both our cases, the schools knew they had no justification—there is no rule requiring students to wear bras, nor to cover their nipples.
Asking any woman, regardless of age, to wear a bra is an outdated, patriarchal notion that we should not accept. Everyone has their own feelings about bras—I resumed wearing one in college for comfort—but it’s entirely a personal choice. If a woman opts not to wear a bra, that’s her prerogative. And if her breasts or nipples are more visible, it’s up to others to manage their own feelings about it.
Going braless may not be the societal norm, but the idea that every woman must wear a bra is merely a social construct. The first bra was only invented in 1914, and many cultures still rarely utilize them. While wearing a bra may feel standard for many, it should be acceptable for women to choose otherwise. In fact, some argue that going without a bra could even be healthier for breast tissue.
Ultimately, if you have concerns about a teen girl’s choice to go braless, you must be careful in how you approach it. Unless her breasts are literally hanging out of her shirt—which would be a different issue entirely—she isn’t violating any dress code. It’s her body, and she has every right to make that choice.
If you’re worried about how other students (particularly boys) react to her decision, the focus should be on educating those boys, not on shaming the girl. Are we seriously at a point where boys’ discomfort takes precedence? This only perpetuates the idea that boys’ predatory feelings are acceptable and that girls are somehow responsible for managing them.
Blaming the girl is wrong and perpetuates victim-shaming. We can do better. We must do better.
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In summary, it’s essential to recognize that every individual has the right to make personal choices about their bodies, including whether or not to wear a bra. Society must shift its perspective and focus on educating those who feel uncomfortable, rather than policing girls’ choices.
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