My son has faced significant challenges over the past year. As he transitioned into adulthood, he found himself grappling with the emotional fallout from his father’s and my divorce. We tried to hold things together for his sake, but looking back, I’m not sure that was the best choice. It’s widely understood that divorce can weigh heavily on teenagers, and for my empathetic and anxious son, the struggle felt almost overwhelming.
His behavior started to spiral; he began breaking rules at school and showing disrespect at home. Despite these changes, I always believed he had a good heart. However, I had to come to terms with the fact that my support alone wasn’t enough. He needed professional help—a type of assistance I couldn’t provide.
A friend introduced me to the concept of cognitive therapy, an action-oriented psychotherapy that challenges negative thought patterns to change unwanted behaviors and address mood disorders like depression. This method focuses on the interplay between thoughts, feelings, and physical reactions, helping children identify triggers for their stress and anxiety—even when they’re not aware of the root causes.
Although my son was hesitant about discussing his feelings with a stranger, I thought cognitive therapy could be beneficial for him. It would concentrate on identifying triggers and understanding the cause-and-effect relationship of his behaviors. I believed this approach could equip him with essential coping tools and clarify why he was feeling the way he did.
Cognitive therapy turned out to be a game-changer. It provided my son with insights I couldn’t convey effectively. According to Dr. Mark Reynolds, a psychologist specializing in cognitive therapy, this form of treatment is “evidence-based and highly effective,” empowering individuals to develop more realistic thinking grounded in facts. It has proven to assist with everything from behavioral challenges to depression.
Through therapy, my son learned valuable techniques like meditation and breathing exercises. His therapist explained how sleep and nutrition significantly influence mood, and for the first time, he was receptive to this advice. Although I had previously tried to instill these habits, my son was more willing to listen when the information came from his therapist. After all, many teenagers think their parents are out of touch.
Empowered by this newfound understanding, my son started making healthier choices on his own. His therapist illustrated how lack of sleep and poor nutrition impacted his brain, shedding light on why he often felt angry or irritable. He also learned about the negative effects of excessive screen time and the influence of disturbing music on his mental health.
Since starting therapy, he has gained control over his triggers. Now aware of their negative impact, he actively sets limits to prioritize his well-being. I no longer have to remind him to eat regularly or put down his phone; he has adopted practices like proper breathing and taking moments to pause before reacting—transformative habits that keep him from slipping back into impulsive behavior.
Beyond benefiting my son, his therapy journey has positively impacted me as well. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and even with the right tools, setbacks are inevitable. Yet, cognitive therapy has equipped me with better parenting strategies. Understanding the roots of our emotions and having coping mechanisms empowers both me and my child. We both want to learn how to improve our circumstances and advocate for ourselves.
Ultimately, cognitive therapy has helped my son gain a better understanding of himself. I would even argue that it has been life-changing for both of us.
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Summary
Cognitive therapy has profoundly impacted my son’s emotional well-being during a challenging time. It equipped him with tools to understand and manage his feelings, leading to healthier choices and greater self-awareness. This journey not only benefited him but also transformed my approach to parenting.
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