By: Anonymous
Date: April 12, 2023
My three-year-old daughter is on the autism spectrum, but I find it hard to share this with you. She has put in tremendous effort to face her challenges, and I worry that revealing her diagnosis might complicate things for her.
Unlike some children on the spectrum, she doesn’t always show the typical signs of autism. If I don’t mention it, you might not even realize. Sure, you might notice that her speech is sometimes unclear, but who would judge a child for having a speech delay?
I’ve had experiences in the past that taught me to be cautious. For instance, when I contacted various preschools, it was disheartening to hear that their open slots vanished as soon as I mentioned autism—even though I assured them my daughter didn’t need any special accommodations and had no behavioral issues. If educators, who are meant to be understanding, can pass judgment based on a label, what about you? Perhaps if I don’t tell you, you’ll treat her just like any other child.
Sharing Her Story
But I do want to share her story. We moved here two years ago, and while we’ve been busy with therapies, we haven’t had the chance to build friendships. I want you to understand why we can’t always meet up—her therapy schedules are demanding. I also hope to change any misconceptions about autism. So here it is:
My daughter is on the autism spectrum, yet she is also the most well-behaved child in her preschool class (thankfully, she found a welcoming school). She is bright, sweet, and loves to play with other kids. She’s social, enjoys sharing, and even likes to help clean up. She’s the happiest child I know and rarely throws tantrums.
However, she can also become overwhelmed easily—like during the Easter egg hunt when she preferred to be held instead of collecting eggs. She experiences anxiety from unexpected changes in her routine, which sometimes leads to physical distress. She has a strict schedule for lunch, naps, and dinner, and she also copes with a rare speech disorder known as childhood apraxia of speech.
Despite these challenges, she has made significant progress. She has undergone twenty hours of therapy each week to reach this point—essentially every waking moment outside of her naps and two half-days of preschool. She has learned to express herself, engage with others, and even enjoy activities that once overwhelmed her. With the guidance of skilled instructors, she has discovered how to play and, more importantly, how to learn. She needs the social interactions that preschool offers, and she deserves the chance to be treated without judgment.
My Hesitation
So, while I wish to share my daughter’s journey with you, I find myself holding back. After all, she is just a three-year-old child.
Note: The author has chosen to remain anonymous to protect her daughter from stigma. She hopes that by writing, she can help shift perceptions about autism and one day share openly without fear of repercussions for her daughter’s future.
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In summary, my daughter is on the autism spectrum, but she is also a bright, engaging child who deserves to be seen for who she is rather than her diagnosis. While I want to share her story to challenge misconceptions, I remain hesitant to disclose her autism to avoid judgment and stigma.
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