In a bustling grocery store, I find myself face-to-face with a long-lost acquaintance, Sarah. The clock on my phone ticks away, reminding me of the time slipping through my fingers. We both rush through the aisles, navigating the chaos of life. Catching sight of her in the cereal section stirs a pang of nostalgia. When was the last time we truly connected? I’m genuinely pleased to see her.
“I’ve been so busy!” she announces, her attire of yoga pants and a tousled bun mirroring my own state of disarray. She dives into a litany of her commitments: soccer practices, PTA events she’s orchestrating, and various work obligations. The list seems endless.
As I stand there, my mind drifts. Instead of absorbing her words, I find myself mentally crafting my own list of obligations to share as soon as she pauses. “Oh, she thinks she’s busy?” I think to myself. “Well, she only works part-time, her kids are older…” and my thoughts continue to wander while she elaborates on her hectic life.
When she finally turns to me, expecting a reciprocal update, she asks, “So, what’s new with you?” It’s as if she’s fishing for confirmation that my life is equally demanding. And this realization weighs heavily on me.
This dynamic seems to define friendships among mothers today. We appear to be competing in a race to prove our busyness, as if our worth as mothers is contingent upon our packed schedules. Ladies, let’s be honest: this obsession with being busy is detrimental to our relationships.
We glorify the idea of being overwhelmed, but what does it truly accomplish? Are we genuinely busy because we choose to be, or are we simply trying to keep pace with other mothers by overcommitting our children? Do we take on excessive responsibilities out of necessity to justify our decision to be stay-at-home moms? When we declare our busyness, what feelings are we masking?
Reflecting on Tim Krieder’s insightful article “The Busy Trap,” published in the New York Times, he articulates our deep-seated need to validate ourselves through the busyness of our lives. He suggests that we believe our lives must be meaningful if they are filled to the brim with activities.
So, when we communicate to friends that we are too busy to connect, what message are we sending? By boasting about our packed schedules, we inadvertently convey that we feel inadequate, and we worry that our days, filled with mundane tasks, might drive us to madness. When we say, “I’m so busy!” what we’re really implying is, “I’m more important than you because I’m in demand!” Is that the message we wish to convey to our friends?
Next time you encounter a friend and they ask how you are, consider being candid. Share your challenges, discuss your new work project that excites you, or admit that you regret overscheduling your child for the travel volleyball team. Resist the impulse to compare your busyness to hers. After all, no one’s life is more chaotic than another’s. We all juggle our own responsibilities and feel the societal pressure to maintain a constant state of activity.
At the end of the day, we are all busy. And it’s unfortunate.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this informative resource from Make a Mom. For additional information about pregnancy-related services, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent resource.
In summary, when we tell friends we are busy, we often mask deeper feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm. It’s vital to prioritize genuine connections over the competition of busyness.
Leave a Reply