The tragic loss of children in schools is an issue that cannot be ignored. Amidst this heart-wrenching reality, discussions have become polarized. Some advocate for the #WalkOut movement, emphasizing the need for safety in schools, while others support the #WalkUp initiative, which promotes inclusion. I understand both perspectives. As a parent, I have long embraced the philosophy of inclusion and compassion.
I am a mother who engages in deep conversations with my children about their friendships and choices. After relocating, my children had to adapt to a new school environment. One particular child would greet my daughter when they crossed paths. I, as the encouraging mom, advised my daughter to “be kind to everyone.” She mentioned that this child struggled to make friends. I prompted her to “be inclusive,” despite my daughter’s observations of the child’s disruptive behavior. I encouraged her to “listen to what others have to say” and to “show compassion,” as we never know the challenges others face.
Then, I received an alarming call from the school counselor. My heart raced as she assured me that everything was fine. The call revealed that some of my daughter’s classmates had expressed concern about a child who had been paying too much attention to her. I was stunned; I had unwittingly encouraged my daughter to include the very child who was now harassing her.
Terror coursed through me as I realized the gravity of the situation. The child had been following my daughter closely, subjecting her to verbal harassment to the point where her peers felt uneasy. I was desperate to know how the school planned to protect my child. The response was a series of measures: my daughter would be separated from this child in class, teachers were notified to monitor interactions, and safety precautions were put in place.
Amidst my frantic thoughts, I reflected on the conversations we had shared. I felt like I had failed her. In tears, I admitted to my daughter, “I have given you terrible parenting advice.” She reassured me that she was okay, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had put her in harm’s way by promoting kindness and compassion without considering the implications.
This incident became more complex when my daughter traveled to Washington, D.C., only to find herself grouped with the same child. This time, I empowered her to maintain her distance and to simply be polite while staying close to the supervising adult. Navigating such situations can be tricky; I want my daughter to be strong and unafraid, yet I also need her to be conscious of her surroundings.
We continue to have candid discussions about safety, particularly regarding the unique challenges she may face as a female. Together, we talk about avoiding unsafe areas and remaining vigilant in public spaces.
In the midst of the ongoing discourse surrounding school violence, I do not take a definitive stance. However, I believe it’s critical to recognize that sometimes, urging children to be inclusive and compassionate can inadvertently lead them into precarious situations. There are moments when it’s perfectly acceptable to prioritize personal safety over kindness.
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In summary, while promoting kindness and inclusion is essential, it is crucial for parents to balance these values with the imperative of ensuring their children’s safety.
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