As a teenager, I accidentally discovered a Kama Sutra book in the basement of a friend’s house, a relic from his grandparents. At the time, I found it amusing that I was rifling through an elderly couple’s guide to intimate positions. I was young and bursting with hormones, captivated by the illustrations of various poses, and daydreaming about the day I would check off each one like I was marking items off a grocery list.
This particular version of the Kama Sutra was heavily Americanized, focusing primarily on sexual positions—something I later learned was just a fraction of the book’s true content. Back then, all I could think about was sex, envisioning a future filled with it.
Fast forward to now: I’m 35, married with three children under the age of ten. Reflecting on my youthful fantasies, I find myself shaking my head in disbelief. I adore my wife; she is more attractive to me now than when we first met fifteen years ago. However, the reality is stark: we simply don’t have the time.
Perhaps we should have explored those Kama Sutra positions before becoming parents, but we didn’t. Maybe other couples with young kids manage to carve out regular time for intimate exploration, and if that’s the case, hats off to them. For us, intimacy typically happens late at night after the kids are asleep, right before exhaustion takes over and we collapse into bed.
Adding to the challenge, those rare moments we do find for intimacy are often interrupted. A child could knock on our door at any moment, seeking water, complaining about not being able to sleep, or asking us to investigate imaginary monsters. Kids have a talent for interrupting even the most intimate moments.
Honestly, the truth is clear: they are the ultimate cock-blocks. I love my kids, but if my wife and I are to maintain any sort of sexual relationship, we might need to set aside our Kama Sutra aspirations and simply focus on enjoying whatever intimacy we can manage.
It’s funny to think that the Kama Sutra book ended up in the basement of my friend’s grandparents. I can almost hear someone now saying that a lack of variety in the bedroom is why their marriage fell apart, or that I should try harder to spice things up. But honestly, this article isn’t for those couples. This is for the parents like my wife and me, who yearn for closeness but struggle to find uninterrupted time amidst the chaos of family life.
Recently, I stumbled upon an article featuring cartoon interpretations of Kama Sutra positions, and it made me nostalgic for my younger self. I started wondering if my current sex life was falling short of those youthful expectations. However, I then reminded myself of the demands of adult life—work, bills, children’s activities—and realized that right now, elaborate Kama Sutra-style encounters are simply not feasible.
What we have is sufficient for now. We are devoted partners who love each other, and while we are able to share regular moments of intimacy, complex explorations are on hold until the kids are more independent.
Most parents find it challenging to create time for intimacy, so cherish those brief moments you do get. It’s perfectly fine to take the pressure off, lock the door, and enjoy what little time you have before the kids come knocking.
In conclusion, while the idea of exploring every position in the Kama Sutra may be appealing, the reality of parenting often means prioritizing the simple joys of intimacy instead.
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