When my family and I moved to a new state, we faced the usual challenges of finding the perfect home. We needed enough bedrooms to keep sibling squabbles at bay. I had my heart set on a cul-de-sac, envisioning my kids frolicking freely, while my partner insisted on a spacious yard suitable for baseball and gardening. We had a particular school district in mind and aimed to keep our commute under 35 minutes for my partner’s job. Naturally, during our house-hunting adventure, we also scoped out the nearest Costco.
As a family of five, Costco is our go-to for nearly everything: meats, fruits, toilet paper, paper towels, laundry detergent, snacks for home and school, allergy medications, bottled water, diapers, eggs… I could keep listing items all day. Wine? Buy it in bulk! TVs? Costco has it. Lawn chairs? Yup, Costco. Easter baskets? You guessed it—Costco.
Having become a regular at this wholesale giant, I’ve experienced the joy and chaos of loading my cart with everything from socks to BBQ ribs to a beer fridge. Here are 12 insights that resonate with any Costco aficionado.
- You might start your trip with a detailed list and a budget, only to chuckle at your naivety. Expect to spend $256 to $289 more than planned. How do I know this? A study conducted at the University of My Wallet revealed these figures.
- Despite entering the store for just chicken and hamburgers, you’ll leave with a kitchen faucet, patio furniture, and five books you’ll likely never read—even if you don’t own a patio.
- If your fussy children are tagging along and you’ve promised them samples to ensure good behavior, prepare for a letdown. The only offerings will be salmon, beet soup, and wafer crackers. Meanwhile, the pizza and croissant-wrapped hotdog samples will be long gone by the time you arrive with your hangry toddler.
- Even so, you’ll find yourself trying the wafer crackers, awkwardly lingering as if you might actually purchase the tasteless snack, all to appease the enthusiastic sample lady who reminds you of your grandmother. You can’t bring yourself to tell her your family wouldn’t touch that stuff, even if it were dipped in candy-flavored whipped cream.
- While you might skip the wafer crackers, at least one sample will inevitably make it into your cart—like a box of 94 egg rolls. Hope everyone is ready for some faux Chinese cuisine every day for the next month.
- Don’t expect to find help from employees. The only staff members available are usually elderly, equipped with knowledge of where to locate dark chocolate or hummus. The vast expanse in between is a void of lost products.
- If you develop a fondness for a specific item, expect it to disappear from the shelves forever. I’m still mourning the loss of the margarita chips I had once in 2015.
- Handing your child the receipt to hold, trusting they’ll deliver it to the exit attendant, will likely result in that receipt being lost in the 25-second journey from the register to the exit. Prepare for an eternity in Costco jail.
- Costco’s cafeteria is a hidden gem. With a family of five, dining out can be a financial strain, so we often enjoy meals at the Costco picnic tables on weekends. Pizza slices are enormous and priced at around two dollars. Your kids will insist they can finish an entire slice, but you’ll end up eating the remnants of their plates—just like at home.
- As you add a box of frozen tilapia to your cart for a healthy meal, your child will suddenly announce a bathroom emergency. In the process, a beloved Transformer will be lost on the half-mile trek to the restroom, culminating in a classic meltdown.
- For parents with young children, starting your Costco trip with them contained in the cart is a noble goal. By the third aisle, though, your toddler will be wedged uncomfortably between a 10-pound bottle of laundry detergent and frozen chicken, begging to be freed. This will result in a shopping experience that entails chasing them from one sample station to another.
- At checkout, the cashier will somehow persuade you to upgrade to the pricier “Elite Membership.” This will provide you with better deals on vehicles and vacations you’ll never actually buy.
Despite the hit to your wallet and the extra pounds from sampling too many Ghirardelli brownies, the allure of Costco is undeniable. On Saturday mornings, when you need chicken nuggets, a spring plant for Grandma, and a box of 5,000 baby wipes, there’s truly no better place to be.
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Summary
This article explores the quirks of being a devoted Costco shopper, from overspending and impulse buys to the chaotic experience of shopping with kids. It highlights the joy and frustrations of navigating the warehouse giant while emphasizing the communal experience of shopping at Costco.
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