I have a son who adores princesses. His favorite is Elsa, though he also has a soft spot for Belle and Moana. Wrapped in his cherished winter-white fleece blanket, the one he’s had since infancy, he declares, “Look at me, Mom! I’m Elsa. I’m different.”
What he means is that he’s not the Elsa adorned in the purple cape from the beginning of the tale. Instead, he embodies the Elsa who has fled and transformed into her stunning snow-and-ice gown. He represents the Elsa after her sister Anna says, “Elsa, you’ve changed. You’re different.” Indeed, both Elsa and my son are unique in ways that challenge society’s expectations.
While my heart swells with pride for his creativity and enthusiasm, it also carries the weight of apprehension. As he spins around in his soft, imaginative realm singing “Let it Go,” I feel a stab of anxiety. He is so wonderfully himself but also vulnerable to the harshness of the world.
I know that soon enough, someone will mock him for his love of Elsa and her enchanting gown, which he begs for every time we stroll through the Disney section at the store. Each time he asks for it, I find myself torn. I want to nurture his passions, yet I fear the pain he might face in the future. Either way, it seems that pain is inevitable.
Having witnessed friends embrace their differences only to suffer from society’s narrow views, and others suppress their true selves out of fear, I ponder how to guide him. Society has imposed rigid notions of what boys and girls should enjoy, with little room for deviation. Boys are expected to love trucks and sports, while girls are celebrated for their love of glitter and dresses.
It’s ironic, really, as society constantly espouses the importance of individuality: “Be Yourself. Express Yourself. Break the Mold.” Yet these mantras often ring hollow, as true acceptance seems to come only when one fits neatly into predefined categories.
This double standard is particularly harsh on boys. Little girls can be “tomboys” without facing the same scrutiny, while boys who enjoy “girl” things often lack a positive label. Society typically judges them harshly for their preferences.
Recently, my son has begun to question his interests, asking me if pink and purple are “girl colors.” Each time, my heart sinks. I reassure him, “No, anyone can wear pink and purple. Daddy’s football team wears purple!” He smiles and agrees, but I wish I could shield him from the world’s judgment.
“I’m Elsa and I’m different,” he repeats, twirling in his blanket. His version of Elsa reminds me of the character who, after years of concealing her true self, escapes from societal constraints only to find herself almost destroyed by the world’s expectations.
I refuse to let my son face that fate. If he loves princesses, pink, and Peppa Pig, I will support him wholeheartedly. I won’t stifle his emotions or force him to conform to societal norms.
Ultimately, I know this path may lead to heartbreak for both of us. His innocence will be challenged one day, and when that moment arrives, it will be painful for me as well. However, I believe that it will be far less hurtful than teaching him to despise himself for who he is.
I’m uncertain whether my son will continue to embrace these interests as he matures. Perhaps he will grow into a teenager or adult who still loves princesses, and if that is so, that’s perfectly fine. If he eventually changes, that’s acceptable too. Only time—and perhaps a little divine guidance—will reveal the truth. For now, he cherishes princesses and pink, and that is absolutely wonderful.
I love my son deeply, and I believe that love is the antidote to hate. To combat societal negativity, we must first love ourselves. So when he asks for an Elsa gown for Christmas, my response must be, “Absolutely.” I need to affirm to him that he is perfect just as he is.
Summary
A mother navigates the complexities of parenting a son who loves princesses in a society that often imposes rigid gender norms. She grapples with the fear of societal judgment while striving to support her son’s unique interests and individuality, ultimately prioritizing love and acceptance over conformity.
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