In a recent conversation with a family member, I found myself at a loss for words when asked about my children’s current toy interests. After a moment of silence, I finally admitted, “They don’t really engage with toys.” Internally, I was pleading, “Please, don’t buy them any more toys!” My home resembles a cluttered toy museum, and I fear that if I have to find space for one more item, I might just lose it entirely.
Toys that lie untouched—this is the reality I face daily. My relative expressed surprise and disappointment at my reluctance to suggest new toys. Do my kids enjoy them? For a fleeting moment, yes. But do they truly play with them? Not so much.
While we have a few beloved items, such as Legos, light sabers, and Matchbox cars, my children, aged 10, 8, and 5, prefer activities like screen time, trampoline jumping, or playing outside with friends. Rarely do they sit down and explore their extensive toy collection.
So please, spare me the toy shopping. I spend countless hours sorting through toy bins, donating items that my kids don’t even notice are gone. They might grumble momentarily, but I’ve yet to hear them reminisce about a toy they once cherished.
It seems many adults cling to the notion that children need toys more than they actually do—much like I need a trip to the grocery store with my three kids on a busy Saturday. Spoiler alert: they don’t need them at all. I recall my mother saving our childhood toys for us, hoping we’d share the same nostalgia. Do I yearn for those toys? Occasionally, when I stumble upon articles featuring nostalgic items from my childhood. But do I wish I still owned them? Not really.
I sometimes worry my kids will resent me for donating items like the enormous toy truck they begged for during a shopping trip. My then 4-year-old raved about that truck for a week, and after secretly purchasing it, I tucked it away for Christmas. He unwrapped it with the appropriate excitement, but now it just sits, collecting dust in our overflowing toy box.
When they utter the words “I’m bored,” I might enthusiastically suggest the very toys they once coveted, only to be met with confusion. “Go play with your tow truck!” I might say, only to be met with blank stares. “You know, the one from Santa?” Still nothing. “The one with the crane?” At last, a flicker of recognition before he says, “No, I don’t like that truck anymore.” Kids can be frustrating!
But they’re not really to blame. They’re just absorbing the message from the adults in their lives that acquiring toys and material items is the goal, and I’m tired of perpetuating this myth. It also doesn’t help that my house often resembles a dumping ground for forgotten toys.
So, I urge you: please don’t buy my kids more toys. Even if you think they’re fantastic, they won’t forge a lasting memory of your generosity. Kids have enough clutter to reflect on who gifted them which forgotten item.
Invest in Experiences Instead
Here’s a thought: instead, invest your time in them. Take them for ice cream, a day at the zoo, or a visit to a local park. They will cherish those moments far more than any toy.
If you absolutely feel compelled to present a gift, consider giving them a book that holds significance for you. Write a memory of that book inside the cover, then read it together after they unwrap it. You can never have too many books.
Moreover, consider gifting experiences. My children adore visits to the zoo, museums, and community classes. Support their interests and encourage exploration rather than the accumulation of stuff. Bonus points if you join them in these activities—if not, I’ll remind them who provided that amazing dance class, and they’ll appreciate your thoughtful gift.
We all need less “stuff,” don’t we? While there are many in need, my children aren’t among them. I strive to teach them gratitude, but it’s a challenge when they’re inundated with toys from relatives.
So I implore you to reconsider giving my kids the latest gadgets or trinkets, hoping to create a bond. Instead, build that connection through experiences. Whether it’s watching them play outside or taking them to an art class, these moments matter far more than a giant truck that will be forgotten in a week.
Further Resources
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Summary
In a world overflowing with toys, it’s essential to recognize that children often derive more joy from experiences rather than material possessions. Instead of buying toys, consider spending quality time with kids through outings or gifting them meaningful books. This approach fosters deeper connections and helps instill values of gratitude and exploration.
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