My three-year-old son, Ethan, is on the autism spectrum. Despite his remarkable progress in overcoming various challenges, I find myself apprehensive about disclosing this information to others. I’m concerned that revealing his diagnosis might complicate his interactions with peers and make things more difficult for him.
Ethan doesn’t exhibit many of the typical traits associated with autism. If I choose not to mention it, perhaps you will interact with him like any other child. You might notice his speech can be somewhat unclear, but many kids experience speech delays without judgment.
I’ve had experiences that have made me cautious. I recall a time I contacted multiple preschools, only to find out they had no openings once I mentioned Ethan’s autism diagnosis—even after assuring them he required no special accommodations or exhibited behavioral issues. If educators are quick to judge based on labels, how will others perceive him? Maybe, if I keep this information to myself, you’ll appreciate him just as you would any other child.
Yet, I do want to share that Ethan is on the autism spectrum. We moved here a couple of years ago, and with countless therapy sessions, we’ve struggled to make new friends. I want to explain that our inability to socialize often stems from his ongoing therapies. I hope by sharing this, I can help reshape any misconceptions you may have about autism. So, here it is:
Ethan is a bright, sweet, and kind three-year-old. He is often the most well-behaved child in his preschool class (thanks to the one school that accepted him). He enjoys playing with other kids, is quite sociable, and loves to share toys. He even takes joy in tidying up. He is undoubtedly one of the happiest kids I know, and tantrums are rare for him.
However, he is also a child who can become overwhelmed at events like the Easter egg hunt, preferring to be held rather than gather eggs. He experiences anxiety over unexpected changes in routine, which sometimes leads to physical distress. From needing lunch before noon to having a nap precisely at 1:30 PM, Ethan thrives on structure. Additionally, he has a speech disorder known as childhood apraxia of speech.
Despite his achievements, I still hesitate to inform others about his autism. Ethan has dedicated countless hours to therapy—essentially every moment outside of nap time and two half-days in preschool. He has worked hard to learn skills that come more easily to many. Through the guidance of excellent instructors, he has learned to express emotions, engage in play, and adapt to sensory experiences.
Ethan benefits immensely from social interactions, whether in preschool or at playdates, and he deserves a chance to grow without the burden of judgment.
So, while I feel compelled to share that Ethan has autism, I often opt not to. After all, he is simply a three-year-old child navigating the world.
Note: This author chooses to remain anonymous to prevent any stigma against her son. She hopes to raise awareness and change perceptions surrounding autism, aspiring for a future where she can speak openly without affecting her son’s opportunities.
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Summary
The author shares the challenges and fears of disclosing her three-year-old son Ethan’s autism diagnosis. Despite his progress, she hesitates to share this information due to past experiences of judgment and misunderstanding. She emphasizes Ethan’s strengths and the hard work he has put into therapy, advocating for a world where children on the spectrum can be seen for who they are, free from stigma.
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