Reflecting back on a playdate from eight years ago, I vividly recall my eldest was a toddler while I was pregnant with his sister. I had already grappled with several parenting challenges, such as struggling with breastfeeding and questioning my abilities when my baby still wasn’t sleeping through the night by her first birthday. Potty training? Let’s not even go there.
However, when it came to behavior and discipline, I felt confident. My son was the model child at that playdate—calmly engrossed in books, stacking blocks, and maneuvering toy trains peacefully. He never thought to jump on furniture or toss toys across the room. Yet, I watched with furrowed brows as other children climbed, shouted, and disrupted the calm. I questioned the mothers of these “wild kids” and wondered how they could allow such behavior.
Months later, my daughter arrived, echoing her brother’s demeanor—well-behaved and easy to manage. I felt vindicated, standing tall on my judgmental pedestal.
Then came my third child. Another son, and the turning point of my parenting journey. From the moment he could walk, I recognized the difference. When he threw books at my head during storytime or devised a plan to raid the cookie jar, I knew karma had come knocking.
Thus, I extend my heartfelt apologies to all the moms of what society deems “unruly children.” I understand now the struggle of managing a child who seems unable to control his energy or volume. I know the embarrassment of receiving disapproving glares from strangers, like Karen in the grocery store, as my son climbs out of the cart or knocks over stacks of cans.
In church, while my older children could sit quietly for an hour, my youngest would roam the pew, blissfully unaware of the need to whisper. He’s the one who goes up the slide backward and cuts in line for cupcakes. He’s the one who accidentally breaks cherished family heirlooms. (If you have delicate items, maybe skip inviting us over.)
At a recent pediatrician appointment, I witnessed my son’s antics firsthand. He leapt off the examination table repeatedly, tossed paper across the room, and attempted to create an impromptu game of The Floor is Lava with the chairs. The doctor, recognizing my distress, assured me, “He’s a healthy, normal boy.” I was taken aback. After raising two children who were polite and conscientious, I was astonished by my youngest’s lack of regard for consequences.
However, our doctor explained that his brain was in a developmental phase where he comprehended consequences only after the fact—a phase mirrored in teenage behavior. This revelation shed light on my son’s actions, and while challenges remain, it has been reassuring to understand that he’s wired differently.
Through this parenting experience, I’ve learned that my son is not a “bad” child. He’s energetic and affectionate, and if he swings a toy at you, it’s his way of asking to play, not to harm. If he jumps in front of your child in line, it’s not malicious; it’s simply his way of seizing an opportunity. And chances are, he’ll share his treat with them anyway.
This journey has taught me that moms of energetic kids are doing everything they can. We discipline them and strive to raise them well, but we also recognize their unique needs. My son cannot remain still for long, which is why he walks around the table during meals. I’ve learned not to expect the impossible from him. Unlike my older kids, a few books and a sticker sheet will not suffice to keep him entertained. For every time I say “no” to his siblings, I find myself saying “no” to him five times more.
Moreover, I’ve warned everyone we encounter: if you give this child caffeine, you’re officially dead to me.
My third son has transformed my approach to parenting. Now, we consider the environment when making plans—will there be space for him to run, move, and express himself? If not, we rethink our options. He has a lifetime to learn to be quieter and more still. For now, let him enjoy building couch forts and embracing life with exuberance—while I keep my hair dye close at hand!
For more insights into parenting and family journeys, feel free to check out this informative post about couples’ fertility journeys. Additionally, if you’re interested in home insemination techniques, Cryobaby’s at-home insemination kit is a great resource. For those navigating pregnancy, March of Dimes offers excellent support.
In summary, my experiences with my spirited son have reshaped my perspective on parenting. I now empathize with those mothers I once judged and recognize the unique challenges they face.
Leave a Reply