By: Olivia Carter
Updated: April 24, 2018
Originally Published: April 24, 2018
Image Source: Mladen Zivkovic / Getty
As I rush into preschool to drop off my daughter, Lily, I find myself in another frantic moment—pleading with her for the umpteenth time to brush her hair and reminding her not to share her recent obsession with public flatulence with everyone around her (“Mom, I just farted!”). After helping her wash her hands and settle down for group breakfast, I have a stark reminder that the concept of “having it all” can be incredibly challenging. The teacher gently reminds me that we’re late in submitting her baby picture for a group project. I assure her (while simultaneously sending a reminder text to my partner in ALL CAPS) that we will send it in today.
As I exit the school, I encounter “that” mom—the one who seems to glide through life with an effortless, earth-mama vibe. She has her younger child snuggled close while her older toddler walks alongside her, radiating a calmness that feels almost surreal. This stay-at-home mom inquires about my attendance at the next Parent Meeting and whether I can volunteer for an upcoming field trip. My heart sinks for a moment as I feel the weight of my responsibilities as a full-time working mom, managing public relations for a Fortune 500 company, juggling back-to-back meetings, events, travel, and board commitments.
Here’s the truth: I genuinely enjoy my work (yes, I said it)! I find fulfillment in my career and have known since the early days of maternity leave that being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t for me. Kudos to those who do it well, but it’s not my path, and I’ve come to accept that. I embrace my multifaceted identity: a mother, a wife, a friend, a communications professional, a wine enthusiast, and a bleary-eyed coffee drinker (in no specific order). I wouldn’t trade it for anything. In my limited free time, I prioritize family moments, date nights with my partner, or indulging in some well-deserved “me time.”
Are there days when I miss out on special moments, like Lily’s first school trip? Absolutely. Is it tough to receive videos from our nanny capturing my youngest daughter Mia’s latest achievements during work hours? Definitely. However, these moments become even more precious as I step back to appreciate them fully. I want my daughters to understand that they can strive for their dreams, pursue education and careers, and build a family—all at once. The journey may be challenging, but the rewards make it worthwhile.
During a recent Career Day at Lily’s preschool, she proudly wore a shirt emblazoned with my company’s name and announced to her classmates that she aspires to be “just like Mama” when she grows up. She excitedly shared what I do and how my job allows me to interact with well-known basketball players. These instances make the daily struggle of “having it all” feel incredibly rewarding. I want my girls to see that they, too, can achieve anything they set their minds to.
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In summary, while the societal pressures of “having it all” can be overwhelming, the rewards of pursuing both career and family are immeasurable. Embracing this complexity leads to a life filled with valuable experiences and the ability to inspire future generations.
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