During my second pregnancy, I waddled into a meeting in the sweltering heat of August, feeling like a beached whale. As I settled into my chair, I noticed three conspicuous sweat marks across my belly, accompanied by two Paw Patrol stickers adorning my dress, placed there by my son that very morning. I had completely forgotten! Thankfully, the clients were both mothers themselves, and we all shared a laugh. However, I couldn’t shake off a sinking feeling; if I couldn’t even remember to check for stickers before leaving the house with one child, how would I manage with two?
I turned to the women at the table and asked, “How do you manage to get everything done?” What I truly wanted to know was, “How do you not lose your mind? Are you not completely exhausted or on the verge of tears right now?” They responded courteously, but their answers didn’t provide much clarity. Fast forward two years, and I still find myself balancing work and family life, with my husband also working full-time. My commute ranges from 45 minutes to an hour and a half, and with my kids attending different daycares, I have to make two stops every day. Through all of this, I’ve unearthed a crucial insight: I don’t do it all.
In fact, I intentionally choose to let go of certain tasks, and eliminating these five has been pivotal. I recognize that my ability to forgo these responsibilities stems from privilege; I can afford assistance, have a supportive husband who shares parenting duties, and my children are healthy. Not every mother has these options, but if you can delegate even a few of these tasks, it can significantly lighten your load.
1. Meal Preparation
In my quest to serve dinner every night, I experimented with various strategies, from bulk cooking on Sundays to meal delivery kits like Blue Apron. However, none worked effectively with my schedule. Ultimately, I decided to forgo cooking entirely. I signed up for two meal delivery services providing nutritious meals twice a week, which has been transformative. Once I considered the time saved and the reduction in wasted groceries, I realized it was quite cost-effective.
2. Errand Running
I no longer make trips to Target, Walmart, or the pharmacy. Everything is delivered to my doorstep, from prescriptions to diapers. While some people relish running errands, I do not. I’ve also eliminated grocery shopping by using delivery services like Instacart for snacks and lunch supplies. My husband handles Costco visits once a month for essentials, and I haven’t set foot in a grocery store in nearly a year—what a relief!
3. Housekeeping
Admittedly, my home often resembles a chaotic playroom. The floors are littered with Legos, beds are unmade, and mail accumulates on the kitchen counter. Laundry is only done at the last possible moment, and I don’t prioritize folding clothes. My car, too, is a mess. Every other Sunday, my husband and I dedicate a couple of hours to tidying up, and then a cleaning service swoops in to restore order. I’ve learned that cleanliness doesn’t equate to tidiness, and I’ve grown less attached to having everything in its place.
4. Gym Visits
I aim to work out 3-4 times a week, but I’ve invested in used gym equipment for home use. My workout space is a small corner of the basement, but it serves its purpose. Instead of spending hours searching for workout videos, I now utilize a $12-a-month app that streamlines my exercise routine. The time saved is invaluable.
5. Weekend Attire
Throughout the week, I dress professionally for work, but on weekends, it’s all about comfort. I live in stretchy pants, sports bras, and t-shirts to accommodate the unpredictability of parenting. This attire allows me to be agile for spontaneous family activities or quick naps.
I’ve also let go of other expectations, like maintaining a strict bedtime routine for my older child and ensuring my daughter’s outfits are perfectly coordinated. Releasing these minor concerns has made a significant difference, enabling my husband and me to genuinely enjoy our time together as a family.
While I recognize that these choices are a luxury not everyone can afford, I encourage other parents in similar positions—those who are fortunate enough to have stable financial situations and fulfilling careers—to consider simplifying their lives. Your worth as a parent is not defined by your fatigue, nor is your child’s happiness tied to a spotless home. Embrace doing less and loving more.
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Summary
Juggling parenthood and daily responsibilities can feel overwhelming, but by strategically choosing to eliminate certain tasks, you can create a more manageable and enjoyable family life. Emphasizing what truly matters allows for deeper connections and less stress.
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