A few years back, my two oldest kids found themselves in a heated argument over who was responsible for a fart. But rather than pointing fingers, they were both trying to take credit for it. Sure, it’s entirely possible that they both let one rip simultaneously. The kicker, however, is this: I was joking about being the one who farted. Nope, it was all them. But the actual origin of the fart isn’t the point. What truly matters is that kids bicker about some of the most bizarre things. There are times when you, as a parent, can’t help but wonder if there’s something off with your little ones.
Thanks to the wonders of the Internet, I reached out to countless parents and posed the question: “What’s the strangest thing your kids have argued over?” The responses were plentiful, and here are some highlights that are sure to make you chuckle. Plus, they’ll remind you that this kind of odd bickering is totally normal among kids. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)
- Feces
“We got a new poop scooper for the dog’s mess. My kids fought over who would get to use it. After they ran out of dog poop, one of them actually decided to poop in the yard. Then they fought over who would clean that up.” Who could have seen that twist coming? - Space
“My husband had to go outside to separate our boys who were arguing over a one-foot square area of snow. We live on an acre of land, and there was a solid 10 inches of snow on the ground.” Classic sibling behavior! - Vomiting
“He’s using MY puke bucket! (The kid who was upset wasn’t even sick).” How is that a coveted item? - Imaginary Beings
“My kids had a full-blown altercation over a ‘baby invisible ghost’ in the grocery store. I took matters into my own hands and pretended to stomp on it. Now none of them have a baby invisible ghost.” Sacrifices are sometimes necessary for tranquility. - Ownership of the Moon
“My husband likes to claim things. He says things like, ‘Look kids, there’s Daddy’s moon!’ Now the kids argue over who owns the moon (apparently, different phases belong to different family members).” An interesting take on celestial bodies! - Birth Order
“My 4-year-old is constantly arguing with my 6-year-old about the unfairness of him being born first.” Makes total sense, right? - Victory
“My 6-year-old and her friend came to us, both in tears, after they had a disagreement over an imaginary race. They both claimed to have won but refused to share the imaginary trophy.” Olympic committee, take note! - Cyborg Debate
“My kids bicker about whether the youngest is a cyborg. The oldest insists he is, which infuriates the youngest. This argument has been ongoing for five years. I finally told them they were both robots—dysfunctional ones from a budget brand.” Sounds like a plot twist from a low-budget action movie! - Definitions
“They argued about how to pronounce ‘20’—whether it’s ‘twenty’ or ‘twenty-zero.’” Of course, that’s a very important matter. - Belly Button Theft
“My nearly 2-year-old son had a fierce debate with my 6-year-old daughter about whether she would steal his belly button.” That’s a serious accusation! - Good Days
“My 4-year-old and my 10-year-old argued over who could have a good day. Apparently, only one of them could enjoy the privilege.” Because good days are limited, right? - Size Matters
“I have boys, and they argued over who had the SMALLEST penis—both were eager to claim the title. They even tried measuring!” I’m sure Michelangelo would have appreciated their dedication to art. - Air Rights
“My kids fought over the air in the can. My son yelled at his sister to stop stealing his air.” Some say kids argue over nothing, but this proves otherwise.
See? All children seem to be cut from the same cloth. Sure, they squabble over the oddest things, but it’s perfectly normal. You’re not alone in this parenting adventure!
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Summary
Kids argue over the most ridiculous things, from who owns the moon to who has the smallest penis. These bizarre squabbles highlight the quirky nature of childhood and remind parents that such disputes are entirely normal.
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