In today’s world, parenting might seem like a breeze, right? With technology offering apps for everything from grocery list organization to online shopping, plus streaming services like YouTube and Netflix keeping our kids entertained while we juggle countless daily responsibilities, it can feel like a walk in the park.
But let’s be real—motherhood isn’t any easier today than it was decades ago. Sure, advancements in medicine have increased our children’s chances of reaching adulthood, and it’s convenient to find urgent care facilities while traveling thanks to the internet. However, as much as technology assists us, it also complicates parenting. According to a recent article in The Atlantic, part of the blame lies with us.
If you’ve been a parent for even a brief period, you’ve likely been advised about screen time, either receiving or dispensing lectures on how much exposure is too much for kids. But what about our own screen habits? Author Jenna Whitman emphasizes the need for self-reflection: “More than the screen-obsessed kids, we should be wary of distracted parents,” she notes.
Whitman clarifies that it’s entirely acceptable for children to entertain themselves. This has been a part of parenting across generations—encouraging kids to play outside, explore their surroundings, and develop independence. Those moments of self-directed play are crucial for child development and should still happen.
However, the real issue arises during the times when parents are physically present but not fully engaged. Be it helping with homework, sharing a meal, or playing games, these are the times we should be connecting with our children, looking them in the eyes, and truly bonding—not scrolling through our phones.
I admit, I’m as guilty as anyone. As someone who writes online from home, I’m often glued to my phone. Communication with colleagues and editors happens via social media or email, often at all hours. Too many times, I’ve had to pause my kids mid-exciting Lego presentation to say, “Just a moment; I need to check something” or “I’ll reply to this email shortly.” While technology grants parents like me the flexibility to work from home, it comes with its own set of challenges.
Psychologist Melinda Gray points out, “Language development is the best predictor of academic success,” emphasizing the importance of engaging conversations between children and adults. But what happens to those conversations when they’re interrupted by notifications or when parents are physically present but emotionally distant?
Our children miss out on essential learning and bonding moments. I’m not advocating for a total device detox—I know I won’t be the type to go a full week without screens. But this serves as a crucial reminder. Meal times, for instance, provide an excellent opportunity for connection. I have a five-year-old who struggles to eat calmly at the table. It’s my responsibility to help him navigate that, model proper behavior, and seize the moment to inquire about his day, upcoming events, or school activities.
Christakis highlights research showing a concerning trend: in restaurants, many parents are observed focusing on their phones rather than engaging with their children. In one study, caregivers at fast-food establishments were found distracted by their devices while their kids sought attention, often to no avail. This is neglect, plain and simple.
Interestingly, parents now spend more time with their children than ever, thanks to a more protective parenting approach and a surge in organized activities. Yet, while we might be physically close, we often fail to be emotionally present. “We’ve fallen into a troubling pattern—always nearby but only intermittently connected,” notes Whitman.
So, what’s the solution? Should we feel guilty for not being perfect parents? My guilt levels are already high, but we can improve with small changes. I plan to set my phone aside more frequently, perhaps in another room, for even short periods while engaging with my kids, whether it’s during a puzzle or while playing outside. Although we don’t manage every meal together due to busy schedules, I’ll strive to make the most of those precious moments. This weekend, perhaps we’ll enjoy a family bike ride or hike, leaving my phone tucked away in the backpack.
Ultimately, our children deserve our attention. They need to hear us, see our faces, and know that they are more important than any device.
For those considering starting a family, resources like Healthline provide valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested in learning more about at-home insemination options, check out Make a Mom’s guide as well as Cryobaby’s home insemination kit for comprehensive support.
In summary, being mindful of our technology use is crucial for meaningful parenting. Prioritizing quality time with our kids over our devices can foster stronger connections and encourage their development.
Leave a Reply