I was at my daughter’s soccer match one Saturday morning and witnessed a parent explode over a referee’s decision. This was a small-town community league in Oregon, and the players were only 9 and 10 years old. I can’t even recall the specific call that triggered the outburst, but this dad was irate—his face turned beet red as he yelled as if this were the championship final, not a casual youth game where kids munch on juice boxes and graham crackers post-match.
Eventually, his partner had to guide him to the car, and I was left in disbelief at his behavior. Seriously, it’s just a game. Kids at this age learn just as much from losing as they do from winning. Youth sports are about developing resilience, improving coordination, making friendships, and staying active. Yet, this guy seemed to think it was a matter of life and death.
This experience resonated with me as I came across an article in the New York Times discussing a Facebook initiative called “Offside.” This page was set up by Brian Parker, a youth soccer official from Oklahoma, who offers a $100 reward for videos showcasing parents’ outrageous behavior during youth sporting events. His objective? To use public embarrassment to diminish the growing issue of rowdy parental conduct.
Is “rowdy” the right word? I’m not so sure—it’s the term the Times used. I would lean toward “aggressive” or “abusive.” Browsing through the footage on Offside, one can see fathers in cargo shorts and polo shirts throwing punches over a disputed call. It’s shocking, to say the least.
Take, for instance, this clip from a semi-final basketball game in Pennsylvania that devolved into chaos when spectators clashed in the stands, nearly emptying an entire upper section. Or this footage from a youth soccer match—location unspecified—where a dad actually threw a punch at the referee, and the kids themselves had to intervene. And let’s not forget the footage of a man repeatedly yelling, “You are terrible!” at a youth game.
Come on, folks. Do you really need a video of yourself behaving disgracefully to realize that you might be acting like a jerk?
A significant part of Brian Parker’s message revolves around the fact that many referees—whether volunteers or paid—leave the profession due to this kind of mistreatment. But here’s the truth: it’s time to mature. If you can’t control your fists, keep them in your pockets. If you can’t say something constructive, just remain silent. You were taught these values as a child, right? And you probably want to instill them in your kids, but when you lose your cool at a youth sporting event, all those lessons about respect and decorum seem to vanish. Your child might start to think it’s acceptable to react violently when things don’t go their way.
Kids are observing you. They are absorbing your behavior and learning how to treat others. They’re figuring out what truly matters—and let me emphasize, youth sports are not that significant. Sure, it’s great for kids to participate, but not a single shot, goal, or touchdown is worth escalating to violence or unleashing a torrent of insults. None of it is worth modeling poor behavior for your kids.
So let’s take a collective moment to refocus on what’s essential. It’s just a game. If your child’s team encounters a bad call, turn the situation into a teachable moment about resilience and perseverance. Life doesn’t always go as planned, and that’s not an excuse to escalate the situation or get into a fistfight. Instead, it’s an opportunity to teach them how to bounce back and strive harder. And if you witness another parent acting inappropriately, don’t hesitate to speak out. We shouldn’t tolerate such behavior because, as a community, we need to look out for each other.
Of course, exercise caution—these situations can get heated. But if enough of us stand up against this type of conduct, we can return to enjoying our snacks, sipping on diet sodas, and watching our kids have fun while they play sports.
Doesn’t that sound nice?
If you’re interested in family-building options, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. And for more information about at-home insemination kits, you can visit our other blog post here.
Summary
This article highlights the alarming behavior of parents at youth sporting events, showcasing the need for maturity and respect in these environments. It discusses the initiative by Brian Parker, a youth soccer referee, who aims to curb this behavior by offering rewards for footage of unruly parents. Ultimately, it emphasizes the importance of teaching children resilience and respect, reminding us that youth sports are meant to be a positive experience for everyone involved.
Leave a Reply