Pregnancy
It feels unfair to expect a pregnant woman to continue working if she’s not up for it. This period is both precious and challenging, physically and emotionally. Asking a pregnant woman to manage the stressors of various jobs is one thing, but asking her to teach and engage with 100-200 adolescents is downright harsh.
Teaching is not a profession where one can simply retreat to a quiet corner or excuse oneself frequently. You are “on” for the entire day. When you’re pregnant, your condition often becomes the focal point for students. Every glance at your growing belly is a reminder of the life-changing event underway, leading to a barrage of inappropriate questions and comments.
Children often lack the filters that prevent them from asking deeply personal questions. For instance, I had a student once inquire whether I was still intimate with my partner while pregnant (yes, really!). They don’t grasp why such inquiries might be offensive; their curiosity knows no bounds!
As if grappling with nausea, weight changes, and hormonal shifts weren’t enough, consider this: you still have a classroom full of teenagers to manage and teach Shakespeare to. Throughout my pregnancies, I encountered a whirlwind of comments from my students, such as:
- Daily Size Updates:
“You’re getting bigger.”
“It’s so big.”
“You’re not that big.”
“Shouldn’t it be bigger?”
And yes, I was once told, “Your butt is getting bigger!” To which I replied with a glare, only to hear, “What! It’s a compliment!”
“Your chest is getting huge!”
“You must be having a girl because with boys, the belly sticks out like a basketball, but girls just make you fat everywhere.” - Sharing Their Plans for Parenthood:
“I’m not having my baby when I’m old. I’ll have them by 19!”
“All these older teachers getting pregnant. I’m gonna have mine young!”
“My boyfriend graduates next year, and we’re having a baby!” - Their Own Birth Stories:
“I was born on a couch! My mom sat, and my head just came out!”
“My mom had 17 stitches down there because of me!”
“My mom said she pooped while having me!”
“When my mom’s water broke, my dad slipped in it and hit his head!” - Suggestions for Baby Names:
When I asked my students for name ideas, I received some interesting ones: Tupac, Sexi, Lil Uzzi, Tequila, Money, Areola, Kween, Lil Teach, Cinderella, Starbuck, Trucker, K8 (Kate), Strawberry, Laqueefa, Saytan, Pepsi, Phelony, Shithead, Elizabit, Nylon, Daddy, Kurrency, and my all-time favorite: Fartisha. - Ridiculous Questions:
“Do people have sex when they’re pregnant? Can the baby get pregnant if it’s a girl?” (My response? “Yeah, I think so.”)
“Are you scared to have that baby? It’s going to destroy your body!”
“Does it rip all the way down to your backside?”
“Can you get it sewn back up to make it tight again?”
“Can others drink breast milk besides the baby?”
“I can tell what you’re having based on your position. Were you on top?”
“So the baby eats everything you eat? That’s gross.”
“Do you get those hanging things in your butt? My mom did.”
“Why are you still fat after the baby?”
“Can you get pregnant from a hot tub?”
“Are you worried that you’ll sit down and the baby will just pop out?”
“Can you get pregnant from a dog?”
For crying out loud, haven’t these kids heard of Google? One student even announced loud and proud, “She had sex in September!” after I told him how many months along I was.
Interestingly, some of my students were expecting too. During my first pregnancy, I had two students who were pregnant and a junior with a 3-year-old child. I would try to connect with them, but they never seemed as affected by their pregnancies as I was. “Aren’t you tired?” I would ask. “Not really,” they’d reply. “Aren’t you scared?” “Not really,” was their answer. It was perplexing how my pregnancy felt like such a monumental change while theirs seemed less impactful.
This experience highlights the unique challenges of being a pregnant educator, navigating both the joys and the hurdles of this transformative time. If you’re looking for more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this informative resource and learn more from the experts at the Impregnator. Additionally, for deeper knowledge about fertility treatments, this link provides excellent guidance.
Summary:
Navigating pregnancy as a teacher presents unique challenges, from dealing with inappropriate student comments to managing physical discomfort while engaging with a classroom full of adolescents. Despite the hurdles, this period can also foster unexpected connections and insights into the lives of students who are also experiencing motherhood.
Leave a Reply