Dear Eliana, on your second birthday,
I wish I could say that the day you entered this world was one of pure joy for me, but the reality was quite different. This isn’t a reflection of you, but rather my own ignorance. When we learned you had Down syndrome, it felt like a heavy blow. As they placed you back in my arms, I felt the profound love that every mother experiences for her child. You were stunning. But with that love came fear. What I didn’t realize at that moment was that we were receiving a precious gift. You would teach us about unconditional love, finding joy in unexpected moments, and the resilience needed to advance.
I feel embarrassed looking back at my initial thoughts on your diagnosis. I envisioned a life dedicated to caring for someone unable to thrive, imagining vacations and nights out slipping away from us. I worried about your sister, Lily, who had been the center of my universe, losing her spotlight. But all those assumptions were misguided. I share this in hopes of reaching another mother who might be lying in a hospital bed, wondering if her life is over. It’s not.
Your presence and diagnosis have transformed our lives, but these changes have been welcome. We continue to do everything we did before you arrived. In fact, we’ve embraced new experiences because of you. Your smiles and spirited nature make our vacations brighter. Our family dinners are filled with laughter as your dad and I watch you and Lily engage in playful mischief. You express yourself with laughter, shouts, and yes, sometimes by throwing things (occasionally at your sister).
The bond between you and Lily is heartwarming, filled with love and the occasional sibling squabble. Lily has expanded her role in the family, and she fiercely protects you, a role she has embraced wholeheartedly. Truthfully, I believe you will be her protector soon enough; you are a spirited little girl.
Today, on your birthday, I am filled with gratitude. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Your determination is inspiring. Each day, I watch you work hard to stand, walk, and explore. While your muscle tone may challenge your physical movements, it cannot dampen your vibrant spirit. I know you will soon be walking, but for now, your willpower drives you to get where you want to go.
You are full of sass! I thought I understood what sass was with Lily, but Eliana, you have taken it to a whole new level. It’s hard not to chuckle when you throw things, shout “no,” or playfully swat at your sister or me. Your empathy shines through too; when Lily is upset, you feel it deeply and cry alongside her. Your adventurous side is evident; when Dad tosses you in the air, your laughter is contagious, and you clearly relish the thrill of rides.
You are selective with your affection, making others earn your love, which can be a challenge (sorry, Aunt Betty). You adore music, dancing and singing throughout the day. Our home is filled with laughter and joy because of you.
My dear Eliana, I could write endlessly about everything I was unaware of before your arrival. I had no idea that adults with Down syndrome engage in inspiring endeavors—advocating for their rights, teaching Zumba, starring in reality shows, writing books, owning businesses, living independently, and even marrying. They enrich the lives of everyone around them.
Before you, I didn’t understand the meaning of advocacy or the friendships I would cultivate within this wonderful community. You have introduced us to remarkable people who have impacted our lives profoundly.
Having you in our lives has encouraged us to celebrate more and appreciate the little victories. When you pulled yourself up for the first time, we cheered! The day you used your walker, I was moved to tears. While the future remains unpredictable, I know that your presence has made us more compassionate. We’ve learned to choose kindness, become politically aware, and understand the importance of resources like Medicaid in your life. We will always fight for your rights and those of others like you.
This journey has made us better individuals. We love deeper and have come to understand that love manifests in various forms, sizes, and abilities. We have learned that emotional intelligence is just as valuable as academic intelligence. We’ve become more open to seeking help, which has led us to wonderful new friendships.
On this special day, I want to express my gratitude. Thank you, my beautiful, feisty little girl, for being the extraordinary gift that you are. I regret not recognizing the treasure you were at your birth, but I promise to spend my life sharing your story with others.
I love you for all that you are.
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