Last weekend, I embarked on a cross-country flight to celebrate a child’s 10th birthday with a group of women I initially connected with online. It might sound a bit crazy, but let me explain.
A decade ago, at 24 and expecting my first child, I found myself grappling with an unexpected sense of loneliness during my pregnancy. My OBGYN, an experienced older gentleman, suggested I join an online forum to discuss my feelings with other women. Initially, I scoffed at the idea, thinking “mommy groups” would only lead to drama. Yet, my longing for female connection led me to register for a popular parenting forum in the early hours of June 2008, specifically the November Due Date Club.
Over the years, I’ve seen various groups form — from vegan moms to single parents and homeschooling families. However, my experience with the November ‘08 group has been particularly unique. We shared topics that ranged from breastfeeding to nursery decor, and I quickly became a part of this vibrant community by sharing humorous anecdotes of my pregnancy challenges.
When people ask what made our November ‘08 group so close-knit, I often point to a remarkable event that bonded us: the premature birth of a little boy named Oliver, our first November baby. Born at just 23 weeks and weighing only 1 lb., 3.5 oz., he became a symbol of strength for our group. His mother, just 21 at the time, had her partner serving in the military, which made our support all the more crucial.
Witnessing this group rally together to support Oliver’s family was nothing short of inspiring, especially since we had never met face-to-face. A decade later, our bond remains unshakeable. We’ve traveled across the country for birthday celebrations, organized surprise baby showers, and supported each other through the complexities of life, including divorce and the heartache of loss. One of my most cherished moments was seeing Oliver at my wedding, where he and his family drove hours just to be there.
As our children grew, we’ve shared countless experiences — from running marathons to celebrating life events and even navigating tragedies. Some of us have met in person, while others maintain our connection solely online. Regardless, these women have become integral parts of my life, sharing laughs and tears.
On July 29th, 2018, we celebrated Oliver’s 10th birthday. My son, upon hearing Oliver’s story, marveled at the idea of him being a “miracle.”
This weekend, I took my own son to Oliver’s birthday gathering, which was initially planned for Whiskeytown Lake but shifted to Sacramento due to wildfires. Eight members of our group gathered to celebrate, and as I sat on the beach with these incredible women, I felt a profound connection. It was clear that we knew each other better than some of my own family members.
In that moment, it struck me that our friendship, which began as a digital connection, has flourished into a form of sisterhood that is both real and powerful. Happy 10th birthday, Oliver. Thanks to you, I found my tribe, and it seems my son is finding his too.
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In summary, the friendships formed online can be as genuine and supportive as those developed in person. My experience with the November ‘08 group has proven that distance doesn’t diminish the bond between friends.
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