By: Kira Thompson
Updated: Aug. 20, 2018
As a teenager, I had a vivid vision of what my life would look like in my 30s. I imagined being married, thriving in a fulfilling career, and raising at least one child. While my twenties brought some changes in specifics, the overall trajectory remained the same.
By my mid-20s, I was in a loving relationship with someone I intended to marry. I was making gradual progress toward my career ambitions, believing that as my life fell into place, everything else would follow suit. However, life had different plans, and now at 32, I find myself nowhere near where I thought I’d be.
The upheaval in my late 20s was a cascade of challenges. First, I lost my job, and soon after, I discovered I was pregnant. The strain on my relationship became unbearable, leading to my decision to move across the country to stay with my parents for support. My long-distance relationship with my boyfriend staggered along for two and a half years, filled with conflicts and complications. Eventually, I made the tough choice to end it, hoping to start my 30s with a clean slate. I never pictured myself as a single mom living with my parents at 30, but there I was. I resolved to use this situation not as a crutch but as a launching pad for a better future.
To regain control of my life, I knew I had to focus on my career. Achieving stability in that realm would give me the confidence to tackle the rest of my life. Pursuing a career as a writer is no easy feat; it requires relentless determination. I sought out the best opportunities to advance my career, and while it wasn’t without its struggles, I made it happen.
Securing my career enabled me to achieve another significant goal: moving out of my parents’ house. Being a single mom in my 30s was challenging enough, but doing so under my parents’ roof was detrimental to my mental well-being. I appreciated their support, but it wasn’t the life I had envisioned. So, I saved diligently and succeeded not only in moving out but also in relocating back across the country to allow my son to be closer to his father.
While my professional life continues to evolve, it is now in a much better place. This progress allows me to focus on other areas that still need work, such as romance. Honestly, I never anticipated having to re-enter the dating scene in my early 30s. The landscape has changed drastically since my twenties, and dating as a single mom with limited time is exceptionally tough.
As the primary caregiver, my time away from my son is minimal. With his dad working full-time and babysitting fees being tight, my chances for a social life hinge on whether my ex or a friend can watch him. Never did I envision needing to start over romantically at this stage in my life. This is when I thought I would be settling down, yet here I am, contemplating the pros and cons of dating apps. I occasionally catch myself absentmindedly rubbing my left ring finger, acutely aware of the absence of a ring. Watching my married friends makes me yearn for that level of companionship. I often find myself staring longingly at wedding magazines while shopping, my cart filled with ice cream for late-night comfort when my son is asleep.
Though I’m far from where I thought I’d be at 32, I’m gradually coming to terms with that reality. The past few years have taught me that there’s no single right way to achieve your goals. While it’s easy to regurgitate clichés, I prefer to be real about my journey. Confronting the truth that life isn’t unfolding as planned is not always simple. There are moments when the bigger picture feels elusive, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Life will never be perfect, and rolling with the punches can be a challenge. You can only take so many hits before feeling like giving up. Yet, often in those moments of despair, new paths emerge. I will keep moving forward, trusting that in my own time and manner, I will arrive where I’m meant to be.
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Summary
At 32, I find myself far from my teenage dreams of marriage and family. Life’s unpredictable twists, including job loss and unexpected motherhood, reshaped my path. However, by focusing on my career and embracing my new reality, I’ve begun to carve out a fulfilling life. While romantic prospects are daunting, especially as a single mom, I’m learning to navigate this chapter with hope and resilience.
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