Not long ago, I was enchanted by an amusing story about two elderly individuals who escaped a nursing home to attend a heavy metal concert. It was a delightful tale that made us chuckle, but it carried a profound message: You Only Live Once (YOLO). So, let me ask you, fellow moms—when was the last time you embraced that philosophy? When did you last indulge in something purely for yourself? What ignites your passion? Do you even remember what that feels like?
I had forgotten. Once I became a mom, I immersed myself in attachment parenting, breastfeeding, and babywearing, allowing those roles to define me completely. I was devoted to my children—caring for them, nurturing them, and investing in their development. My identity became intertwined with being their mother. I occasionally read parenting books, but beyond that, I lost sight of who I was. My entire existence revolved around my kids; I was just “Mom.”
As my children grew, I found myself at a crossroads. I needed to rediscover my identity, and I needed to do it quickly.
YOLO, right? Gradually, I began to understand that I could shape my own life. I could pursue my interests and passions, regardless of others’ opinions.
So, I took up sewing and crocheting, and even started training my dog. I stopped pretending to enjoy every mainstream show and instead embraced the quirky sci-fi series I genuinely watched. I proudly sport a collection of Harry Potter t-shirts and handmade skirts. While I loved being a mom, I craved something more—an identity that extended beyond motherhood.
Too many mothers fall into the trap of solely identifying as “Mom” after having children. It’s crucial to maintain your individuality. You must prioritize your own happiness and pursue what you love, regardless of societal expectations.
I witnessed a close friend grapple with this dilemma after moving away. She wasn’t interested in crafts or outdoor activities, and she felt lost until she decided to become a foster parent. Finding a new purpose brought her joy and helped her establish an identity beyond just being a mom.
Embracing the YOLO mindset doesn’t always mean taking wild risks like skydiving or backpacking in Bali. It can also apply to the little joys in life that you may neglect if you don’t consciously make time for them. Whether it’s gardening, cooking, or pursuing fitness goals, find something that excites you. Maybe you’ve always wanted to dye your hair an adventurous color or slap a unicorn sticker on your car—why not?
You need a passion project. Create something, be it crocheted items, baked goods, or even artistic endeavors like decoupaging. Dive into hobbies that fascinate you, whether that’s old films, theatrical performances, or even dance classes.
It’s essential to live beyond your children. Your kids will grow up, and you’ll find yourself with an empty nest and, potentially, an empty life. So, be more than just “Mom.” Embrace what you love. YOLO!
Treat yourself to that delicious coconut cake. Keep a journal of your most beautiful moments. Cultivate a garden with flowers or fresh herbs. Take up ballet or learn a musical instrument. You only have one life, so spend it doing what you adore.
And whatever you explore, ensure it’s for you. Pursue it because it brings you joy, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Wear that tutu to the grocery store, enjoy intimate moments with your partner, or belt out your favorite tunes while cleaning. By nurturing your own identity, you’ll ultimately enrich your family life. Your children will appreciate a happy, fulfilled parent, and you’ll discover a newfound sense of self. So go ahead, put that unicorn sticker on your minivan.
YOLO, my friends. YOLO.
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In summary, the journey of motherhood can often overshadow your individuality. It’s vital to carve out time and space for what you love, ensuring that you live a fulfilling life beyond your role as a mom. Embrace your passions, and remember that you only live once.
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