I’ve always been open about my attraction to my husband, Mike. From the moment we met, I found everything about him captivating. After a year of celibacy leading up to our wedding, we were eager to embrace our physical connection.
As newlyweds, I believed our passionate days would never end, especially given our strong sexual chemistry. However, I soon realized that the frequency of our intimate moments wouldn’t last forever. After about a year of marriage, I noticed things had slowed down without us even realizing it. It wasn’t that our intimacy had lost its spark; it had simply become a lesser priority amidst our busy lives. Between managing work, parenting, and everyday responsibilities, intimacy inadvertently fell by the wayside.
The wake-up call came when I found myself unable to recall the last time we had been intimate. I confronted Mike about it, only to discover he was aware. As a caring partner, he hadn’t wanted to pressure me, knowing how much I had on my plate. This realization made me feel awful. We were juggling a child, career transitions, and the usual life stresses, but that didn’t justify neglecting our connection. Research shows that a satisfying sexual relationship is crucial for a lasting marriage, with 61% of married individuals agreeing.
It’s easy for intimacy to slip down the list of priorities when you’re overwhelmed with daily obligations. However, this can lead to resentment and feelings of disconnection, not to mention a sense of unfulfilled desire. I recognized that I wanted sex just as much as Mike did; I just needed to make it a priority. Even on days when I felt exhausted, I never regretted choosing intimacy. Surprisingly, once we began, my initial reluctance vanished.
I understand that not everyone shares this experience; various factors can impact one’s desire for intimacy. For instance, body image issues after pregnancy or emotional challenges can create barriers. In my case, it wasn’t about those concerns; I simply let intimacy fall off my radar.
Now, making time for sex is essential for me. I take a proactive approach to ensure we don’t go too long without connecting. Yes, I even mark it on a calendar. Given our hectic schedules, I’ve accepted that intimacy needs to be planned just like any other aspect of our lives. While spontaneous moments are lovely, relying solely on them would mean we’d be intimate maybe once a month—if that.
When something is significant to you, you do what it takes to maintain it. Being physically close to Mike is a priority for me, and I’ve found that setting reminders on my phone helps to ensure we stay connected intimately. Thankfully, he has no complaints about this approach.
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In summary, prioritizing intimate moments is key to maintaining a strong relationship. Life can get hectic, but taking intentional steps to keep the flame alive ensures that both partners feel connected and fulfilled.
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