Why I Won’t Teach My Teen to Drive

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As my son approaches his 16th birthday, he shows little interest in learning to drive, and honestly, I’m quite relieved. The idea of teaching him, especially since I drive a manual transmission, fills me with dread. While I consider myself a cautious driver—never texting behind the wheel—I must confess that I can get quite frustrated with tailgaters or reckless drivers. My horn gets a real workout.

Recent articles highlight the declining car culture among teens. Many, including my son, prefer to connect with friends online rather than in person. This trend suggests that today’s youth may not feel the same urgency to transition into adulthood as previous generations did. Reflecting on my own youth, I remember feeling pressured to learn to drive because my mother needed a designated driver for my younger siblings.

Back then, I didn’t have to navigate the complexities of a graduated driver licensing program. I skipped driver’s ed to save a half credit in school. My first attempt at the driving test failed due to my inability to parallel park, a skill I never needed growing up in a rural area where parking was straightforward. Nowadays, high schools are cutting driver’s education programs, leaving parents to teach their kids or directing them toward online courses or driving schools.

Teens today face a structured licensing process that requires them to complete three stages: a permit, a probationary period, and then full licensure. During the permit phase, they must log 30 to 50 hours of driving practice under the supervision of an adult, often a parent or guardian. I started driving long before the regulations we see today. My own mother wouldn’t have been able to dedicate that kind of time to driving lessons, especially with multiple children to juggle.

Should parents really be the primary instructors for this important skill? Having lived in Germany, I saw firsthand how effective professional driving schools can be. There, individuals start learning at 18, undergoing extensive training with certified instructors. This structured approach equips drivers with vital skills, such as navigating roundabouts and understanding lane etiquette, which I believe are essential for safe driving.

Some states now mandate that parents attend a driver’s education class before they can teach their children. In Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Northern Virginia, parents must complete a two-hour class covering rules and regulations before teaching their teen drivers. In Texas and many other states, parents must even declare their role as the teacher to the state. The weight of these requirements can be overwhelming and can drain the joy from the learning experience.

Driving is undoubtedly an essential life skill, akin to typing, yet the excessive regulations surrounding it may explain why many teens show little enthusiasm for driving. For now, I’ve decided not to take on the responsibility of teaching my son. When the time comes, I’ll leave it to the professionals, who are far more equipped to impart this crucial skill.

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Summary

As my son nears 16 without a desire to drive, I find relief in the idea of not teaching him. The pressures and regulations surrounding learning to drive today are daunting. I believe professional instructors are better suited for this important task.


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